Why Women Are Complicated????????

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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 14, 2013
Jonkers,

agreed because most of the "Muslim men" are not really muslim men....

--- Mar 14, 2013 ---

BMreformed ,



Does not offend if that is yoru observation...yu did not say a particular muslim man did you ;) so why would I take offense, which by the way i did say i warn my non muslim friends to stay clear from muslim men anyways.....which by the way are not really being true muslim men in the first place.

--- Mar 14, 2013 ---

Nucleus ,

well said

--- Mar 15, 2013 ---

Nucleus ,

Imams are not well connected ususally with the broader community although in dubai this might be different, hence they are not able to ascertain or suggest good people as prospects but this is all for people looking who are converts or otherwise for serious long lasting relationships that would go through that route. Most people do not approach the imam anymore because they know they only play a cursory role in matchmaking anyways. The best bet for a person is networking through likeminded friends or good company as you alluded to in your post. That said and done....opinion of a man in finding a suitable man for marriage is vital(hence the whole mahram thing in islam anyways, where the father or any male relative of the girl investigates a potential suitor to make sure he is not corrupt or evil etc) and vice verse(which was the whole point of my initial post that only other women can tell how good a woman is in terms of her akhlaq or behavior with other people).

lonelyndubai
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
I think my Muslim friends would take great exception to you saying they weren't really Muslims, lonely.

Who are you to say that anyway?
BMreformed
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
lonelyndubai , yeah a real muslim man will beat you across the head with a wife beating stick. have 3 other wives , grow his pubes on his face, and make you wear a penguin outfit in the scorching heat.

i think its good that they are not really muslim men , dont you think?

--- Mar 15, 2013 ---

BMreformed , who cares about your friends? noone really.
bossman
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
lonelyndubai wrote:agreed because most of the "Muslim men" are not really muslim men....
Well, as a good Muslimah, you will have to admit that in Allah's court those are words that are frowned upon, lonely. Allah does not get happy when you pass such a judgement on someone, even though to you he/she might appear like a very bad Muslim/Muslimah. By saying this, you are actually condemning them to eternal damnation and hell-fire. I am sure you can come up with Hadiths that would bear me out in what I am trying to say.

--- Mar 15, 2013 ---

bossman , I think BM is right, many Muslims would feel offended, even though they may not appear to be good Muslims. To some. Who knows Allah's ways??
Jonkers
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
bossman wrote:
BMreformed , who cares about your friends? noone really.


I do.
BMreformed
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
BMreformed , good keep them to yourself then.

--- Mar 15, 2013 ---

Jonkers ,yes i know , i have seen many people get upset over it. because they are brought up on it. so even if they dont completely believe it , they take some kinda offence to it.
bossman
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
bossman wrote:BMreformed , good keep them to yourself then.


Sorry. I must have missed the post that informed me that you were the new moderator of this forum.

And still no access to FC. LOL
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
lonelyndubai wrote:agreed because most of the "Muslim men" are not really muslim men....
It is not that bad.
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
BMreformed ,so /? what am i missing?
bossman
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 15, 2013
I am reading a book called "How to be Filthy Rich in Rising Asia". Its actually a NOVEL by a wonderful Pakistani author called Mohsin Hamid. Won many International prizes already.

I am impressed by his writing. At one place he says, about Pakistani Muslim men "..........he was the sort of man who discovers love through his pe.nis, and he thinks the first woman he makes love to should also be the last. But fortunately for him, and his financial prospects, she thought of her second man as the one between her first and her third."

Go figure.

I have to catch a plane now :D
Jonkers
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 18, 2013
Nucleus wrote:
lonelyndubai wrote:muslimahs for that matter(the practicing non dating ones etc) because for some reason they have emotional issues of attachment, etc. But there are girls who are down to earth, for those type if you are muslim, you'd have to chugg the dating scene, ask your parents to find you a nice wife
I cut out the "white" part on purpose because I don't want to make it about race. What I've seen is the one with religious muslim values are the best ones, they have a very high sense of loyalty to the marriage and spouse. But is not that easy to assess that before marriage at first glance, hence, there are lot of mismatched couples and the loyal one suffer. Same goes for a guy.

For converts they usually go to Imam, and non-converts, they usually do through parents or relative.

With the people I've come to know over the years and whose marriages were done through imam, one main issue I've noticed, where there were problems, that imam also goes for a nice talker guy. Nice talker I don't mean by nice-sweet guy, I mean a guy who is good at making connections and friends but may not be loyal to the values in a marriage. Imams are humans, assuming Imam is not shoddy, they suffer from same short comings of judgement, but when converts are taking that route they usually have high expectations and overlook that side.

With parent or a relative, at least it doesn't have the shoddy part, but depends on the parent or relative what they are looking for. Many parents these days, even they are not looking at the right things, they might also looking for somebody in a "trophy" sense for the family; or they might have bias for somebody they know who might not have the high sense of loyalty to the marriage relationship but they like that person for whatever reason. Latter is more common problem in such arrangements.

So it is not that easy as it sounds, even in an arranged way; but this world is like that, it is not fair or just for many. But I guess it can be improved.

In my case, the girls I sense who would be loyal to the marriage relationship are very difficult to approach and they don't trust easily, which is understandable. The girls that are approachable, well, I don't trust them with loyalty side.

lonelyndubai wrote:Hence, a well educated mannered man will treat his ill mannered, pampered, princess wife with respect, honor, and luxury, whereas a harsh and ill mannered man will treat his golden wife with patience, values, and selflessness harshly....
I see this a lot, sad really. I my opinion, these guys are stupid (but from my observation most are like that) they have little sense or intelligence; the woman who makes them miserable they treat her so well, on the other hand, woman who makes their life happy they don't even give her her due respect.

But this is not just related to marriages, I see this even in normal friendships with both men and women. Exploiters are treated much better than true and loyal ones.

Makes me think, true and loyal spouse and friends are a blessing, if a person can find them. Not easy to find though.

lonelyndubai wrote:The whole dating relationship scene is flimsy.
True, but many people go to these channels (I mean night clubs) these days because that's the only way they can find somebody, even if they don't like this route. Especially true for Dubai, people seem not interested or seems to have trust issues. Only people seem interested are the ones who are after your money. Abu Dhabi I heard is better than Dubai in this area.

lonelyndubai wrote:In the end when she raises your kids on good values you'll benefit the most.
Well said!

--- Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:45 pm ---

lonelyndubai wrote:the muslim men chase other women because their 'wives' were not chosen based on the above mentoned principles.
I'll add something to that from my observation -- it is not really related to "not chosen part," because it is not exactly like "not chosen" as it was in the past. Even with arranged match-making there is a choice. So two common reasons I observed:

(1) Men who chase other women (same goes for women) they do it anyways. Probably not the loyal types.
(2) Bad company and advisers. There are lot of people who seems to be friends but really all they do is try to ruin a good life of a person, persuading to have fun (in a wrong ways) etc... But the guy who takes up these wrong friends and their advises shows poor thinking and weakness in character.

Just my $0.02


That all sounds very complicated :-).

Just go with plain old dating.
FlyingDutchman
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 18, 2013
FlyingDutchman wrote:That all sounds very complicated .

Just go with plain old dating.
Dating is more complicated, it has its own issues. But we weren't discussing that hence they were not mentioned.

--- Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am ---

I see it was mentioned in the passing.

--- Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:26 am ---

Nucleus wrote:that imam also goes for a nice talker guy.
English is not my first language, so pardon the wrong choice of word. I meant they guy who knows how to network with people.
Nucleus
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 18, 2013
Nucleus , go to a hooker , problem solved!
bossman
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Mar 18, 2013
Nucleus wrote:
FlyingDutchman wrote:That all sounds very complicated .

Just go with plain old dating.
Dating is more complicated, it has its own issues. But we weren't discussing that hence they were not mentioned.

--- Mon Mar 18, 2013 10:52 am ---

I see it was mentioned in the passing.

--- Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:26 am ---

Nucleus wrote:that imam also goes for a nice talker guy.
English is not my first language, so pardon the wrong choice of word. I meant they guy who knows how to network with people.


No, not much humour on the streets of Dubai. Seriously, try smiling so now and then.
FlyingDutchman
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Apr 07, 2013
Some people make a vocation of spewing out drivel, and seem to love it
Jonkers
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Apr 08, 2013
That is their nature that is all
kiangr
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Apr 08, 2013
i dont think so. they are brilliant..
laraseo2010
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Re: Why women are complicated???????? Apr 10, 2013
My Man Wazabi let me help you get the best possible advantage, forget about the past and move on.

Lets face it when you are in the desert you cant help but feel that there is just too many beautiful people and not enough time to get to each one of them.

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If you want a totally free dating site then check this out divanerasmusdotcom/FreeDating/

so what are you waiting for there is many dating sites and this one just might get your next hookup!
picollo
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Re: Why Women Are Complicated???????? Apr 11, 2013
Because of their brain responses to the out side world bit different to a man, If you really want to know about it, there is a very good book. ask me if you are interested in. It's boring but might support your question...
voxlon
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Re: Why women are complicated???????? Apr 27, 2013
First , i wanna ask u..where do u come from?are u emirati or western?
Well if u are an emirati mybe u passed a bit disculture shock,i mean shes a western n u r asian..u both have dferent culture,western r identically with freedom,n no commitment..so u shouldnt have take it sriously..exceptablw,u n her r agree in a officially rlationship..
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