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Why do break-ups hurt so much? Especially for the girls!

I mean how come men just get back on with it and carry on, where as we end up feeling like the heart has been ripped from the chest and stamped on.

These feelings suck.

Because men never get as emotionally involved as the women. So it keeps things easy to move on. I am positive if a guy got emotionally involved in a relationship (rare) he would have the same feelings you described.

Is everything alright Chocs ?

Everything is just dandy, apart from the fact that I feel like I've just wasted the last 2 years of my life messing about with someone that didn't care in the end and just made me feel bad.

its never a waste, you always come out better, stronger, smarter out of it.

It doesn't seem that way right now.

I am sorry, it will once you think about it clearly.

*hug*

Chocoholic wrote:Why do break-ups hurt so much? Especially for the girls!

I mean how come men just get back on with it and carry on, where as we end up feeling like the heart has been ripped from the chest and stamped on.

These feelings suck.

I am very sorry to hear about this choco. I know exactly how you feel. Been there…breaking up with a long term relationship does almost kill you. I think it is so difficult for us because we are more sensitive. Make use of the heart often then our heads in such situations, thus leading to heartaches!

“There's always been heartache & pain, but when its over u'l breath again” Bless you.

Sorry to hear that Chocs.

Well then girl, you are better and wiser now. Don't let the bastard get you down, and see you like this. Show him he meant sweet f/a (even though he did) and get on with your life.

Come on, chin up and brave face.

chocs,
its not only girls, it hurts guys as well, like maad said 'if' he was emotionally involved. i was in a relationship for 6 years before we mutually decided to part ways, it took me bout six months to get over the fact that we had actually done that. so ur not alone.

cheers,

Jerry

Sorry to hear that. If someone is worth crying for, that person will not make u cry. If someone makes u cry, most probably that person is not worth it.

just think of 'rocky''s theme, stand up look for someone else, and u'll forget this one

Chocs, time heals all babe. Chin up.

Sorry to hear about the break-up Chocs. It hurts at first, but I agree with MaaaD - you'll be stronger for it. Eventually you'll be able to move on and find someone who make you happier.

Yes it really sucks.

Don't think guys aren't affected by breakups, we most certainly are.

^ian^ wrote:Don't think guys aren't affected by breakups, we most certainly are.

Ditto Ian. Emotional barriers might be higher or (seemingly) stronger than a girl but when they come down we hurt just as badly - we're humans too!

XRW-147 wrote:

^ian^ wrote:Don't think guys aren't affected by breakups, we most certainly are.

Ditto Ian. Emotional barriers might be higher or (seemingly) stronger than a girl but when they come down we hurt just as badly - we're humans too!

Yeah I usually just drink myself into a stupour for a few days, but finding it hard to do that these days. Investing 2 years of your life into a relationship only to see it fall apart is truly heartbreaking, especially when one isn't getting any younger.

^ian^ wrote:Yeah I usually just drink myself into a stupour for a few days, but finding it hard to do that these days. Investing 2 years of your life into a relationship only to see it fall apart is truly heartbreaking, especially when one isn't getting any younger.

Yah, been there, done that. Just remember alcohol (or drugs) are never the answer... time heals all and life goes on!

XRW-147 wrote:

^ian^ wrote:Yeah I usually just drink myself into a stupour for a few days, but finding it hard to do that these days. Investing 2 years of your life into a relationship only to see it fall apart is truly heartbreaking, especially when one isn't getting any younger.

Yah, been there, done that. Just remember alcohol (or drugs) are never the answer... time heals all and life goes on!

Whilst it may not be the 'answer' it is kind of like an anaesthetic and does help the pain... for a little bit. Of course.

Life does go on... whether you like it or not.

Alcohol and the like only suppress and delay what you need to go through to get over someone. Its never easy... but its not the end - no matter how much it feels like it.

Alcohol and drugs are definitely not the way to go to patch up the wounds of a broken relationship. It only makes new problems.

I'm sorry to hear that Chocs, his loss

Thanks guys

Have to say the booze thing is not the way to go, you just end up making drunk phone calls at 3am and making a total fool of yourself - never a good thing.

I'm pretty sure guys feel just as badly as women do when they break up. They're probably just better at hiding it. Whereas a woman may go into sorrowful isolation a guy will go into rebound mode with every thing in a skirt, though I've seen guys do sorrowful isolation as well.

Women fall in love more easily though. Up your expectations and let the next one EARN your love.

You're going to be fine girl! This is the time for you to find those great friends of yours and have some fun. BIG HUG!!

Yes well, I didn't mean become an alcoholic, but it doesn't hurt to go on a bender. I know what you mean by the 3am phone call though chocs.

MaaaD wrote:Because men never get as emotionally involved as the women. So it keeps things easy to move on. I am positive if a guy got emotionally involved in a relationship (rare) he would have the same feelings you described.

Is everything alright Chocs ?

i agree wit u Maaad, thats y i m still hurt of my ex. i guess we sould not use our heart to love our partner, its realy hurting upon break up or if we find her/him a cheater or double timer

Choc first a big hug for u ... second if the guy seemed to be the right one for u and u ended up breaking up this means he is not right and once ur out of the pain and ur seeing the big picture u will know that u are better off without him ... true love stays and lasts and ur a beautiful girl inside out ...FLY AWAY

been over 7 months...am still getting over "the one"...hey distract yourself and sing yer heart out...kareoke on the main page...

yes and if u are not over someone DO NOT date another as u will screw his heart

Hi Choco - sorry to hear that.

I'm one of those guys that did exactly the same a couple of month ago and here's why:

After taking the decision to break up with my girlfriend I told her very clearly as I knew it would hurt her like hell. After that I was intentionally very distant and tough to show her clearly that I was serious about it and there is no room for discussion or doubts.

I guess most guys work like that and try to draw the line to hurt once and for all instead of dragging the pain along by negotiating, coming back together, splitting again, etc.

I almost cracked twice and only a phone call to a friend (female) made me stick to my plan as I was very close to just stop her pain by getting back together.

Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong, but my intention was to make it as easy and fast for her to get over me. Today I still believe it was the right decision and from what I hear from some common friends she's doing ok.

I'm sure he's hurting too and he simply tries to not show it. I completely agree with Corcovado, if it would have been the right one you wouldn't have broken up.

Hank in there - you'll do fine in a little time.

I feel ya hun! That's why I always sing You Oughtta Know... Everyone's like 'You look like you mean it when you sing that'... That's because I do... to all those evil men who think they got the better of me arrrghhh so wrong!!!!! You see, I feel better already!

Maybe we should organise a girls night out and find lots of cute single men!!!