i got this in an email .. feel free to add your own:
DRIVING IN DUBAI
If your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and
get a new one.
If you are in Al Rashidiya and your map is one day old, then it
is already obsolete.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dubai has its
own version of traffic rules, which can be summarized as "Hold on
If it is your priority to cross, forget it and wait.
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dubai.
Everyone drives like that.
When you plan to get a new car, ask first about its acceleration
from 80 to 160 Km/h (recommended: 3 seconds). Very important if you
frequently use the Emirates Road
All directions start with Sheikh Zayed Road, which has no beginning and no end..
The morning rush hour is from 5:00 AM, The evening rush hour is from 1:00 PM to 10:00 PM..
Wednesday's rush hour starts Tuesday morning.
If you slow down at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended and
then given a ticket by the Dubai Police.
If you are the first one at the intersection, when the light
turns green ignore the car honking behind you and count to five to
avoid crashing into one of the cars running the red light in
Construction on all main roads is a way of life and a
permanent form of entertainment. (Sorry for the inconvenience)
All unfamiliar sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we must
be in Sharjah!"
Car horns are actually toys for big boys.
Anyone in a Land Cruiser, Tuned Patrol, or Mercedes with tinted
windows has the right of way. Period.
If you are driving a Corolla, Sunny, or another small
Japanese car, stay on the far right lane. No comment!
Most roads mysteriously change names as you cross
To ask directions, you must have good knowledge of Urdu.
A trip across town will take a minimum of four hours, although
Sheikh Zayed Road has an unposted minimum speed of 150 Km/h.
18 wheeler trucks are one of the fastest vehicles in Dubai , they
can do 120 Km/h on Hatta-Oman Road when fully loaded.
The minimum acceptable speed on the Emirates Road is 160 km/h.
Anything less is considered downright sissy.
Al Khail Road is Dubai's daily version of NASCAR.
Dubai Autodrome has a new extension: The Emirates Road.