I'm glad that a new thread about what the Quran says about treating others has been created.
What is strange is why event horizon is upset at God's commandments about the treatment of others in 16.90.
Here is my original post which explains these levels - including the Arabic terms which event horizon is struggling with:
I try to live my life by an extention to the Golden Rule - what I call the Platinum Rule
:Treat others as they would want to be treated.
This stems from the Philosophy within Islam which says that there are 3 levels of empathy that believers must extend to others. The lowest level is called Absolute Justice (Adl) - where you treat others fairly. This is the lowest level of virtue - to do anything unjust to others would be against Islam.
The next level up is Kindness (to grant someone more than his due) - (Ihsan). I.e. you give them more than what they are due from their actions - you are kind to people.
The highest level is (Ita'i Dhil-Qurba
) - 'Kindred' -to treat others as you would treat family
, i.e. give them love etc without any regard for how they actually behave towards you/others - as you would treat your child/parents/siblings.
This is encapsulated in 16.90 of the Quran:
Allah commands justice, the doing of good, and liberality to kith and kin, and He forbids all shameful deeds, and injustice and rebellion: He instructs you, that ye may receive admonition.
I agree with the Golden rule being win-win, the Platinum rule is to ensure that the other person feels like it is win-win, and requires that one is empathetic rather than projecting what I think the other person wants onto them. That does require extra effort and it means dropping assumptions one has about situations, and asking lots of questions.
Acting with justice does mean that you provide support to the weak and oppose those who are committing injustices themselves, but there are also Just, Kind and Benevolent ways of countering injustice.
When it comes to debating with people with different views, be it about religion or any other topic, I find this instruction from the Quran (16.125) to be a helpful guide:
Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance.
I often fall short of these goals, but to err is human.