How To Be Gay In UAE

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How to be gay in UAE 86 days ago
Before you think to attack me back with bad words, I will tell you that I am fasting for Yaom Al Ashoorah and so; "Peace Been Upon You"!

All about this special day, that I mentioned above, you can hear on TV, local radio stations or read online... As this is not a part of forum for religion then I will talk practical life (it is not religious advice or guidance - I am not a preacher).

Simple steps how to be gay in UAE (or anywhere else in islamic world) from second-hand experience;

First of all take out of your mind that you can be a pure gay - that's queer. And you don't want to be queer around your family, aunts and neighbors...

You have to be bisexual. Is it a must. That means that you have to marry and present yourself as a family guy. Don't worry, you can survive that for the sake of a child!

Try to marry somebody who already had bad experience in previous marriage, so that your behaviors are not questioned. It is just a bad luck for unfortunate 'second' partner of yours.

Perform the Umrah! There is nothing better that picture you as a good guy in the society then clean white cloth (ihram) around your naked body, with Holy Kaaba in background. That's the card you shall play on for everything. Nothing like performed umrah can mask gays, pedophiles, human traffickers, drug dealers, killers, sociopaths, psychopaths...you name it!

Once you marry use whatever it takes to get a child (drugs, drinks, viagra...).
When your wife gets pregnant stop that charade immediately and free yourself. Now you are a free man. Get rid of wife after she delivers. Keep the baby.

But be aware. Because there is still shari3ah in this part of the world and they will give child to a mother, you must play tricks on her. Leave the house with all your personal belongings and 'forget' thousands of your money in the house (even if you have to borrow - it will pay off later!).

Watch the movements of your wife. Once she finds money she will run away with your child and your money to her parents, or to her country. Report to police running wife with your own child and money! They will catch her and take the child and money and put her in prison.

There you have it; your reputation as a poor single father, your child and your freedom.
Now you can devote your entire life to the child. You don't need to marry again and bring evil stepmother to the child. That's out of question!

But beware, if you marry a honest woman then your plan can be ruined and you can f**k yourself for the rest of 18 years by paying alimony. But even if that happens you can try plans B, C, D...
(put viagra/drugs in food/drinks, seduce, kidnap, kill...)

And find a lobby to support you. Don't worry you are not alone. There are so strong lobbies, even in this part of the world, that will support you and keep in place, as far as you keep yourself out of trouble. All they will need from you are travels to support Pride Parades around the world. But that's cool as you will have opportunity to travel as never before.

And for the sake of reputation make yourself seen in Juma prayers sometimes!! And even if you can't stand to endure that torture for half an hour, at least make yourself disappear from eyes of family and friends during Juma time. Sure they will always think you are at mosque. It is not so hard.

Manipulate, manipulate, manipulate! That's your weapon. Talk sweet, act harsh. Don't let any straight person on your way. Nobody backward and conservative can reach your open-minded level and freedom of choice.

And last but not least, take care of your social media accounts; share pictures of family, kids, and keep pictures of ex wife...all to make sure that you are percept as a family guy forever.
Never mix your private emails with websites that you visit and with group activities.
Have separate emails and social media accounts for like-minded people only.

P.S. Corona reminder; even thou perfumes were your best friends before, try to wash yourself regularly now, for your own safety (nothing to have with THAT smell).

Shamoosa
Dubai Forums Talker
Posts: 168

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