Arriving Home Very Drunk

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Arriving home very drunk Oct 07, 2008
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: "Why don't you be a good Samaritan and take him home."

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.

The drunk's wife greets them at the door: "Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where's his wheel chair?"

:lol:
Papzz!
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Papparazzzi
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Oct 07, 2008
That reminds me of something funny that happened to me.
My buddy and I were getting toasted at a bar one night and a blind guy was sitting threre drunk as hell. We had this long drunk conversation about politics and playboy magazine in brail etc, until last call and time to leave. Seeing that he was blind and all, I thought I would help him out and offer him a ride which he gladly accepted. We all got in the car and started down the road and I said, "ok man, where do you live?" He says "200 paces to the right and over the steps, 500 paces from there." He didnt know any streets or anything cause he was blind, Duh! So after about 20 minutes of trying to figure out where the hell he lived he got all pissed off and got out of the car and wandered off into the woods. I have no idea what ever happend to him.
maximusprime
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Oct 08, 2008
Reminds me of the gag about the guy who gets really drunk in a bar then stupidly decides to drive home. On the way he gets an attack of the munchies and stops off at a fish and chip place to pick up a take-away.

Whilst he is in there, a fight breaks out and the police are called. In the fracas, he decides it would not be a good idea to be caught drinking and driving, so he sneaks out, gets in the car and drives home.

At about 2.30am, he gets a knock on the door and there is a policeman standing there asking him if he is the owner of car registration number whatever. He says yes and they ask him to show them the car. He gets the remote to the garage door and presses the button. The door slides up to reveal...

A police car!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Knight
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Oct 08, 2008
haha,
or the guys who upon leaving the bar spot a policeman waiting to catch drunks gettin in their cars, so one guy starts stumbling wildly and starting a scene, yelling F__ you, im outta here, etc and then gets in the car and starts to drive. The cop pulls him over makes hime get out and gives him a sobriety test which he passes easily. confused the cop says "you're not drunk at all, what is this?" The guy says, "im the designated decoy, my friends are long gone by now.. Sucker!"
maximusprime
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