Please Help Me To Save My Relationship

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Please help me to save my relationship Sep 14, 2006
I am a regular lurker on this board.The amount of support,love and help one gets here,thought of posting my problem.
I have been in dubai for some years.My husband is having an affair with unmarried girl for two years and is openly cheating on us.The other woman is known at work and she has hooked him by publising their affair at work.so to cover up his reputation he told everybody that he and me are divorcing.The day i caught them,he supported the other woman and since then he is with her 24/7.He justs come home to sleep.

He took me for divorce but got me back saying he loves me and cant live without me.when we came to dubai,the other woman got after him and he like a coward went back to her.Now he is with her and telling me to wait till he gets some job in other country,in dubai he cant finish his affair.
He has introduced that woman as second daughter in law and in laws are supporting them.

We have been married for 14 years,no children.The other woman challenged that she will break my house no matter what.All the time my husband and the other woman keeps taking revenge on small,small things.

I told him that am going to expose this illiegal affair to dubai police,he said he knows so many people in cid,police,he will get free.

I WANT TO TEACH THE OTHER WOMAN A LESSON.she is forcing my husband to leave me for last two years but my husband is still with me.
I am on his visa and he has taken my passport to deposit in office.He said after he deposits our passports,within four,five days they will call you for blood test.
I am not working,totally dependent on him,he kept me closed inside the house,only after he became a cheater,he is not bothered.

IS THERE ANY WAY I CAN STOP THIS AFFAIR??WHAT SHOULD I DO OF OTHER WOMAN?
my husband is saying once we get out of this country,his affair will finish but here he cannot do anything.


:(

Indeeppain
Dubai Forum Guest
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Sep 14, 2006
is this for real :shock: :shock: :shock:
zam
Dubai Master of Thread Hijackers
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Sep 14, 2006
Just one question even after breaking the affair and getting your husband back is the relationship going to be the same? its come down to ego clashes as i can see from your post

Yes they should get what they deserve, kick their butts, but after that i would say leave him as he doesnt deserve you. lead your own independent life.

cheers

J
Jeevan
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Sep 14, 2006
just because he says something doesnt mean that it is true. report him to the police, get your passport, and relax. you deserve better than that low-life of a man.
bushra21
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Sep 14, 2006
oh and in which of the emirates are you living?
bushra21
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Sep 14, 2006
Thankyou guys for the advice,yes it is for real.I wouldnt have taken so much time posting.
He is acting smart just because he has this single woman after him.I think once she leaves he will become normal,thats what i feel,maybe am in denial,i dont know.

bushra21 i dont have my passport with me,he has it with him,will try to take it from him today but its already expired.my visa is not valid and one can stay for one month more after expiry.I am already hitting that extra one month by end of this month.

Once i take my passport,how should i report,what police is going to do with them? i want to follow them,get a proof.IS THERE ANYBODY WHO CAN HELP ME GETTING A PROOF?
Indeeppain
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Sep 14, 2006
zam wrote:is this for real :shock: :shock: :shock:


comon how hard is it not to beleive it? yeah i know t;s not easy to diss him after 14 yrs of relationship! try reporting to police as last option..ask ur inlaws and ur parents to help u out.

i dont understand...a woman commiting injustice to another woman....so shame
sniper420
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Sep 14, 2006
I am in dubai.

thanks.
Indeeppain
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Sep 14, 2006
What kind of life is this?

Leave this man, and never let him back into your life.
^ian^
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Sep 14, 2006
Yes snipey I cant believe it! she endured that for the last two years! :?

First and foremost the moment you learn your husband is cheating on you, your gonna do something! :oops:

:idea: Either:
1) it ends up in divorce :evil:
2) or the other woman will be dead :evil:
3) or your going to fix your marriage, but make sure it doesnt happen :x again!

lasting that kind of situation for sooo loooong you should be numb by now and have moved on with your life. :cry:
zam
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Sep 14, 2006
Indeeppain wrote:Thankyou guys for the advice,yes it is for real.I wouldnt have taken so much time posting.
He is acting smart just because he has this single woman after him.I think once she leaves he will become normal,thats what i feel,maybe am in denial,i dont know.

bushra21 i dont have my passport with me,he has it with him,will try to take it from him today but its already expired.my visa is not valid and one can stay for one month more after expiry.I am already hitting that extra one month by end of this month.

Once i take my passport,how should i report,what police is going to do with them? i want to follow them,get a proof.IS THERE ANYBODY WHO CAN HELP ME GETTING A PROOF?


so hes keeping you against your will here and having an affair....

even if the first isnt true go to the police and say that because you dont want your visa being expired and you still in the country to be your fault since he took your passport. go before you get your passport and report it to the police. what nationality are you?
bushra21
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Sep 14, 2006
2 words for you : LEAVE HIM...why would u want to commit ur life to someone who treated u so badly and cheated on u and obviously has no respect what so ever to u .... leave him alone start clean and new ...u Dont need this scum in ur life
Corcovado
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Sep 14, 2006
:shock: Leave him!! call th police and expose everything... move on and live your life!
Mi Ange mi Demon
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Sep 14, 2006
Oh my... it is very heart-pounding situation.

Just take your passport before you completely ran out of time and leave him.

my husband is saying once we get out of this country,his affair will finish but here he cannot do anything.


This is bullshit.

Forgive me fellow Dfers, but this kind of guy should be castrated!
weary_heart
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Sep 14, 2006
weary_heart wrote:Oh my... it is very heart-pounding situation.

Just take your passport before you completely ran out of time and leave him.

my husband is saying once we get out of this country,his affair will finish but here he cannot do anything.


This is bullshit.

Forgive me fellow Dfers, but this kind of guy should be castrated!


wooohooo sounds funnnn :lol:
zam
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Sep 14, 2006
He's not going to change, or become loyal once you leave the country, or anything else. There are 2 people in this relationship, only one person who you can change and thats you. Stop sticking around with him. You don't deserve this abuse.
PrettyPenny
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Sep 14, 2006
the question for you is not "how to save my relationship" ...but "how to end my relationship"...
Mi Ange mi Demon
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Sep 14, 2006
we know, we know...its always easier said than done...but please learn to love yourself more than others coz if you do, you wont let him or anyone hurt you!!! :wink:
zam
Dubai Master of Thread Hijackers
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Sep 14, 2006
Get your passport and leave. Go back to your home country and live with family or friends until you get on your feet again. Find a lawyer and start divorce proceedings - and fight for half of everything you have together.
kanelli
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Sep 14, 2006
easier said than done guys...i hope you find the courage to do so...and do so real soon...a forum is a forum after all...real life is infinately more complicated...i guess we all have to figure out how far we can go to help this perticular person out? :?
constantine
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Sep 14, 2006
Thankyou so much for the advice.everybody has told me to leave the cheater but dont know why am not able to move on without him.
PLEASE CAN SOMEONE HELP ME ON THIS?
If he gives my and his passport in the office for extending visa,HOW MANY DAYS IT NORMALLY TAKES FOR STAMPING??AFTER HOW MANY DAYS THEY CALL YOU FOR BLOOD TEST ??

If i go now back to my country and it takes more than 15days to file and sign for divorce so will i be able to come to this country on tourist visa?
last time this cheating husband ran away so dont want to take any chance.

guys if this cheater gets married to other woman,he will not cheat on her??why other woman is not having any problems in sharing him with me.

I MADE HIM SIT AND TALK ABOUT AFFAIR ONE DAY -HE SAID
both you women are waiting in hope.If the other woman calls you just say you dont want to stay with me and will never divorce me. :shock:

to other woman he is saying that am not leaving him,am not divorcing him so that princess said let your wife stay ,with time she will leave and in the mean time we can enjoy our lives.

HE told me that hes stuk in a mess and have to lie all the time.He said if you fed up and cant wait more you can divorce me or wait till i get a new job.

YES I HAVE TO LEAVE HIM.HE HAS BECOME A SERIAL CHEATER :evil:
Indeeppain
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Sep 14, 2006
Indeeppain wrote:Thankyou so much for the advice.everybody has told me to leave the cheater but dont know why am not able to move on without him.
PLEASE CAN SOMEONE HELP ME ON THIS?
If he gives my and his passport in the office for extending visa,HOW MANY DAYS IT NORMALLY TAKES FOR STAMPING??AFTER HOW MANY DAYS THEY CALL YOU FOR BLOOD TEST ??

If i go now back to my country and it takes more than 15days to file and sign for divorce so will i be able to come to this country on tourist visa?
last time this cheating husband ran away so dont want to take any chance.

guys if this cheater gets married to other woman,he will not cheat on her??why other woman is not having any problems in sharing him with me.

I MADE HIM SIT AND TALK ABOUT AFFAIR ONE DAY -HE SAID
both you women are waiting in hope.If the other woman calls you just say you dont want to stay with me and will never divorce me. :shock:

to other woman he is saying that am not leaving him,am not divorcing him so that princess said let your wife stay ,with time she will leave and in the mean time we can enjoy our lives.

HE told me that hes stuk in a mess and have to lie all the time.He said if you fed up and cant wait more you can divorce me or wait till i get a new job.

YES I HAVE TO LEAVE HIM.HE HAS BECOME A SERIAL CHEATER :evil:


Humm... that's a good thing Indeep... yalla start a new life without a cheater !!
Mi Ange mi Demon
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Break out!!! Sep 14, 2006
I don't know whether the situation you are in is genuine or written for fun. All the same, assuming it is true, my suggestion is to break out of this relationship, rather than living your life like a doormat. Your husband is your protector and expected to be by your side to support you asyou have no earning capacity. Living your life as a prisoner and under such humilation is not something that should be tolerated as it hits at the very core of your existance.
Wake up! Reach out to those whom you can trust and rebuild your life again. The sooner you can do this the better, as otherwise, you will slowly sink into depression and then desperate thoughts will start to work on your mind. Set your mind up and MOVE!
Stop whining over spilt milk. Instead of dwelling over your husband and his new interest, start spending more time on what you ought to do next. Make a list of your priorities and move into ACTION MODE!
You can be helped in ACTION MODE and NOT in WHINING MODE!
Gus Charles
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Re: Break out!!! Oct 25, 2006
Gus Charles wrote:You can be helped in ACTION MODE and NOT in WHINING MODE!


Sounds like an absolutely awful situation but Gus is right. Only you have a responsibity to sort your life, nobody else. Only you have the power to do something.

I would add something else - lots of people have told you to get revenge in various ways (report him to the police / fighter in courts etc). I counsel against that. It may seem attractive now, while you are in the depths of your anger and despair, but taking revenge will only twist itself back into you and hurt you more in the long term. If you take revenge - especially if it is long and drawn out, you will focus on your pain and become bitter.

Better by far to recognise the problem, take action about the problem, let go of your hurt and focus on building a better life for yourself. Remember - the best place to live is in the 'now' with one eye on the future. Living in the past will only torment you.

Peace

Habeas
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Oct 25, 2006
weary_heart wrote:Oh my... it is very heart-pounding situation.

Just take your passport before you completely ran out of time and leave him.

my husband is saying once we get out of this country,his affair will finish but here he cannot do anything.


This is bullshit.

Forgive me fellow Dfers, but this kind of guy should be castrated!



if this would be applied, my fellow ladies we would end up loving each other even more than many already do, cos we would be running out of man. this story sucks big time and its not like im saying all men r like this, but pls raise ur hand those who never cheated. goes for men and women. not even a kiss?
raidah
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