Is this tradition or just stupidity?
One boy in his twenties approached me at the mall and asked me to step away from my children to ask me something.
Well, what it could be. I never had similar situation, so curiosity led me to act positively and I stepped few steps away from my big children and asked boy what does he want.
So he started to introduce himself; Egyptian, working, practicing Muslim, he has a sister back in his country that looks same as my daughter.... So I said:"And"?
He said that he wants to ask for her hand, next asked where is her father so he can come to ask for marriage.
My short answer was: "Just go to Hell..........".
Well, later I heard from people that it is famous Egyptian way of approaching unknown women and girls in streets. It's kind of normal in their culture :O
Now I will tell you how i see it: as if asking me for permission to do incest. Yeah, sounds sick, I can't be thinking so sick. But I am! That way of asking for my daughter makes me SICK. Yes, I am sick of your ways guys.
How can you think to marry some girl just because she looks like your own sister????
Want you tell me you love your sister so much, that you would love my daughter same strength?
Well, you are not succeeding! All you are telling me that you don't need wife for love, for partnership or life together, but you need somebody to take care of you while you are away of your caring sister!!
Didn't you know that Arab before Islam used to say to their wives (while divorcing): 'You are like back of my mother'. That was sickening phrase. Islam stopped and forbid that stupid phrase. You can't link your wife with your mother or sister! Period.
Now next step; you can't simply think that girls or women are "for sale" and that you deserve any you pick just by having a job or being practicing muslim or loving female family members.
Girls have their own goals and ambitions, their dreams, their preferences, their life at the end. You can't just assume that you are worth to die for, to go after, to submit to, to be accepted....
Show some interest into others and their lives, it is not all about you. It is 21. century and leave your tradition if you run after non-traditional marriage!
No wonder why marriages last so short now a days! Guys marry for all wrong reasons.
To plan your married life you have to look somebody WHO AGREES to learn forever with you (life-long learning and growing minsets in all way and always), to rise children same ways you want, to do life-long projects with you as equal supporting partners, to love you and to receive it back in any way you both dream about etc.
It is not just job-religion-family union; eat, pray, sleep, eat (and go search sexy lover somewhere because life is boring-you deserve better).
And last; if you don't respect woman as equal, as worth don't approach her. In my case I am single mother. My daughter is an orphan. When he asked for father I could send him to Hell (as for some reasons I hope my first ex is temporarily in the Hell).
Where is respect, where is care for dignity of other women, other cultures, other mentality. If you want act as stupid as your culture acts for centuries then stay within your culture, don't approach world that thrive to achieve goals, girls that wants to be pilots, astronauts, engineers etc. and don't give a sh*t for your financial status or performed ibadah or charming style.
Marriage is not a play, desire or preference of beauty type. Marriage is serious partnership that strengthens two people so they are able to make this world better place.