Dubai Forums Dubai Discussions Dubai General Chat

The Homeland Security Dept of the USA has devised a system of Travel Authorization for citizens that fall under the "Visa Waiver Programme" UK, EU etc.
I was a little concerned about this on-line system, however I have just completed the procedure, takes about 5 minutes, it was immediately approved.
I am certain that I have been approved by a computer and that no human being has seen this application.

You can check out the new system here;

https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov/esta/esta.html ... C42E2854AC

Any thoughts?

Beware of the immediate approval online application!
It means they're going to put you in orange overalls as the plane diverts towards Cuba. I hope you haven't got a beard.

Tell them you have a bomb, should give you a shortcut through those long lines, plus they love a joke.

Del wrote:Beware of the immediate approval online application!
It means they're going to put you in orange overalls as the plane diverts towards Cuba. I hope you haven't got a beard.

Thanks for the heads up

Australia have been doing this for years. SO much easier.

Chocoholic wrote::roll: Australia have been doing this for years.

What, putting people in orange overalls as the plane diverts towards Cuba?

Del wrote:

Chocoholic wrote::roll: Australia have been doing this for years.

What, putting people in orange overalls as the plane diverts towards Cuba?

no they divert them to New Zealand

arniegang wrote:

Del wrote:

Chocoholic wrote::roll: Australia have been doing this for years.

What, putting people in orange overalls as the plane diverts towards Cuba?

no they divert them the New Zealand

Hmm... I reckon I'd chose Gitmo

Captain Australia wrote:Tell them you have a bomb, should give you a shortcut through those long lines, plus they love a joke.

Considering the CIA's pre-warning system turning RED ALERT as we speak on this internet fora, you may expect them to salute you on your way to the airport.

The system scans every word that mentions the slighest referral to; bomb, Israel, IDF, hate, terrorist etc. etc.

I bet this forum is closely controlled by some authorities when you consider some of the topics at present on DF.

or not

RobbyG wrote:

Captain Australia wrote:Tell them you have a bomb, should give you a shortcut through those long lines, plus they love a joke.

Considering the CIA's pre-warning system turning RED ALERT as we speak on this internet fora, you may expect them to salute you on your way to the airport.

The system scans every word that mentions the slighest referral to; bomb, Israel, IDF, hate, terrorist etc. etc.

I bet this forum is closely controlled by some authorities when you consider some of the topics at present on DF.

or not

I have watched Bond/Bourne/Bauer enough times to know that what you say is true.

What if you are just talking about that new single that is Da Bomb, or that stray dog that is terrorising the neighourhood, or that old album by Anthrax, or how much fun the pipe bombs were in Duke Nukem 3D, or when you got angry and blew up at that lady at the post office?

Oh sh*t, I'm on the CIA watch list now.

Captain Australia wrote:What if you are just talking about that new single that is Da Bomb, or that stray dog that is terrorising the neighourhood, or that old album by Anthrax, or how much fun the pipe bombs were in Duke Nukem 3D, or when you got angry and blew up at that lady at the post office?

Oh sh*t, I'm on the CIA watch list now.

Allrighty Cap, that makes you transit to the office of deferred threats, or something like that

Don't even go there! A friend of mine was travelling with his American GF to a redneck state in the US, and he made a sarcastic comment to airport security - didn't go down very well. He was bundled into a backroom and strip searched. Funny as!

Choco, what does a redneck state have to do with it? Just don't be stupid, plain and simple. I'm sure the UK security takes those comments just as seriously as ours do.

K-Dog wrote:Choco, what does a redneck state have to do with it? Just don't be stupid, plain and simple. I'm sure the UK security takes those comments just as seriously as ours do.

Hehe, are you from Kansas or Alabama?

Haha yeah it was Alabama they went to.

Because everywhere else they were pretty chilled out, but there - just don't say a work, don't even breathe.

gtmash wrote:

RobbyG wrote:

Captain Australia wrote:Tell them you have a bomb, should give you a shortcut through those long lines, plus they love a joke.

Considering the CIA's pre-warning system turning RED ALERT as we speak on this internet fora, you may expect them to salute you on your way to the airport.

The system scans every word that mentions the slighest referral to; bomb, Israel, IDF, hate, terrorist etc. etc.

I bet this forum is closely controlled by some authorities when you consider some of the topics at present on DF.

or not

I have watched Bond/Bourne/Bauer enough times to know that what you say is true.

Echelon is a fact, a worldwide eavesdropping operation with outposts in New Zealand, Canada, UK and USA.

A guy I know sent a joke text message to his friend, something about assassinating Blair. The police (in the UK) paid him a visit.

Echelon has buzz words that trigger the surveillance devices. When I mentioned Echelon to a former colleague he dismissed me as a conspiracy theorist. He changed his mind when I showed him a newspaper article about it.

Echolon is most definitely a fact.

Relatedly, I was with my Dad once catching a flight home from Brisbane and we had been at a wedding and he'd had a few too many beers. The lady at the counter asked if we had packed the bags and if there was anything dangerous in them. My Dad joked that there was a machine gun in his bag.

Fortunately the lady didn't hear and I dragged my Dad away and pointed out the "We take jokes about security very seriously" signs everywhere. God he was lucky she didn't hear it. Cavity search time I reckon.

gtmash wrote:

K-Dog wrote:Choco, what does a redneck state have to do with it? Just don't be stupid, plain and simple. I'm sure the UK security takes those comments just as seriously as ours do.

Hehe, are you from Kansas or Alabama?

Squeal like a pig!