The Stalker: middle aged guy - never married - training yoga, martial arts, MMA - doesn't keep any job for a long period of time - lives with a regularly working mother and a working sister in an old building - drives an old car bought by the father 'who left the family and established new one' - left by fiancee who broke their engagement and married another man - trains under the trainer who 'never gave him a chance to be a champion, but instead made his own son a champ'...
Me: middle aged single mother - married twice and divorced both men on my own request to the court - training martial arts - working hard raising 3 kids with financial support of ex husband - driving good cars - living in new towers - schooling myself and my kids at University level and having ambitions in life - fighting for my rights and rights of others - have been a champ and so my kids alhamdulillah...
So the two of us become members of the same gym 9 years ago. Me and my kids started training martial arts at the same gym where The Stalker grew; on his territory.
I noticed that he looks at me (when nobody else is looking of course) and all other females including underage girls. So one day I approached him and asked why is he watching me and girls. He replied that he liked females with braces. At that time I had one as well.
Since then he continue to watch only me. One girl noticed that and told me in confidence that there is a guy in our gym who, many years ago, promised to marry her but never did.
I tried to get more informations from her, like who he was, but she was silent.
Then after a while the guy approached me and asked me if I would marry him. I said YES. He was very surprised. But I didn't wait him to pull together, instead asked him where would we live if he marry me. And he replied "At your place". So then I explained to him that my ex husband is paying flat and if I marry, my new husband will have to provide for me shelter, food, clothes, trainings etc. Then he said that he thought I was rich.
But I didn't let him back there. I wanted to see what was behind that request of marriage.
I asked many questions about his life and situation, why he doesn't work, why living with mother, why not opening his own gym instead of training 3 decades under trainer... so he explained his situation and grieves and told me that he sticks with the trainer so that he can revenge to him for not making him a champion, and he wants to be closest to him to get the gym after trainer's death. I told him that trainer has a son to inherit, but he was assured in his plans.
Of course I wanted to know more. Such a delicate personality was in front of me I asked why he never marry before and he told me hatefully about that girl who ruined his life by breaking engagement and marrying other boy. He told me he could never trust and love again.
But that didn't worry me of course. I have enough love for the world
So then he started to back and tried to get out of situation, but I was persistent. He suggested that we are different mentalities, nationalities...and revealed his concern about our future but I was finding out what we have in common, such as martial arts and same religion, so there was no reason for him to worry. Then he gave me a situation; what if he asked me to leave my kids for him would I do that. And of course, I would do anything to get such a priceless personality in my life. He didn't believe me. He was suspicious. He asked me to swear by God. And there was I adjusting my niyyah (intention) to one day swearing that I would leave my kids even. And I promised to God to fast two days for that oath.
Then I announced at the gym to all girls that The Stalker asked me to marry him. One girl changed her face. I noticed that she was feeling hard. Maybe she was also one of his "I want to marry you" candidates.
Then I talked out loud everywhere to everyone that he asked me to marry him and I said YES.
And he wanted to go out of that situation, he wanted it all to look as a joke, so he asked me to go with him to his "cousins house", while his cousin is traveling. And I told him that I am not of that kind of woman to go to somebodies flats.
Then he couldn't hold it anymore and told me that I am old and ugly and that he would never marry me... to leave him in peace.
He is younger then me by two years.
So that was the end of 'the romance' at the gym. So I thought. I moved with my kids to government gym and we had trainings with world champions and we had fun all over Dubai, Abu Dhabi and entire Emirates. They trained us to become champions as well, so we all got gold medals at national level. Such happy memories and friendships. Alhamdulillah.
Then we started schooling ourselves and stopped trainings and focused on education. For four years we didn't train at clubs but only at home, in our building gyms or fitness, kids trained basketball at school etc.
Then after many years we decided to go back to that old trainer and we asked him about our old friends, and he told us that all of them moved, went to Universities abroad etc. But one guy was there and that was The Stalker. We didn't start to train. We just let it go.
But the Stalker heard the word from trainer that we came to the gym and bought uniforms, so he started to send emails. I never opened his emails but just took a screen shots of unopened mails. It was enough to see first sentences like: are you in a relation - I didn't see you long time - I miss you etc. I deleted emails and blocked his email address.
But then came quarantine for Covid-19 and we stayed at home 10 months and got fat, slow, lazy, and me kind of neurotic
I decided that we gave to go training and planed just ignore stalking person at all and not to look at his direction ever and that's it. He tried first day to talk to me, bowing and saying welcome but I just ignored. Later my daughter told me that she noticed The Stalker looking at her, at me and at one other girl.
I talked to the trainer and explained to him and the trainer talked to him and told him not to look at females and not to bother me especially.
So one month went on, but the guy was always finding the way to walk right in front of me, to stand in front of me, to cross the path or anything to get my attention.
But I was completely ignoring and our trainer tried hard to put him always at the other end of the gym away from me and other girls.
But then yesterday after the training he followed me and kids to the car parking. I used to park one or two streets away from the gym and we walked, but in a month he managed to trace us and he parked his car in second street as well, and run after us, trying to catch us before we enter the car.
We speed and went. At home I told kids that we are not going to train again because of that psychopath and even that I paid a month in advance we will just stay at home. I made few circles around the area where I live, just to avoid The Stalker in case he was following after training. I don't want him to know where do we stay.
Then kids told me that on the first day at gym he told them that he saw me at Matajer and that he wanted to talk to me, but as he was in a hurry he left, but came the day after to see if I was there again
I am definitely staying at home as I don't want to kill anyone and have blood on my hands.
Single mothers sometimes get black out in front of eyes, and you can't be sure of consequences. Better to stay away from danger of killing. Never be a victim of your own nerves! Control anger, desires, actions, situations....
Never be controlled by others. Never be a victim. Play safe. Avoid stalkers.