Life Behind Facade

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Life behind facade Aug 13, 2024
Alhamdulillah my kids finished their Master studies. They came back home, but as visitors on two-months-visit-visa by invitation of my ex husband (somehow no family visa for them). And he got jealous of them, as his own son (and mine third child) is still in a highschool, but this two orphans finished master studies.
He goes to public on his media profiles how he is humanitarian person, how he cared about two orphans, how they are his children…but then in private tells them (and me) how they have to pay all back, to pay school to his son (their sibling) and that so is only fair.
He did indeed list them as his own children and got from his company payments for their schooling as well. But then he would go vacations every time that school has to start. Maldives, Saychelles, USA, European countries etc. How father (if real father) can go vacations just a week before school starts?? Well such father as him could. He would use money he got for them and then at school he will make drama afterwards, telling administration that he is stuggling, he must care about two children that are not his own, that he will be late with payment, that they have to wait for him etc. And when he made sure everyone knows his sacrifice than he would normally pay from the next salary. But then payment will be from his OWN salary, and he could later tell everyone that HE pays for their school and must sacrifice his portion of salary for them.
And now he is trying to manipulate his own son to believe that he got a pressure in life because his siblings are back at home. That he can’t live normally anymore, because his siblings are back into his life. His siblings were with him from day one, and his father met him only when he was four months old. As he was born white his father thought that I cheated on him and he did not want to come to see him. Just after four month he decided to invite us back into his life, but anyways we divorced just few months later. I filled for divorce after finding his secret FB profile, where he was searching for datings… Astagfirullah.
When we were together and if his baby son was crying at night he would just leave the room and go to sleep alone in the room next. He never wanted to be disturbed.
My older children raised him together with me, taught him to talk, to walk, to play, to read, to train and to do sports….All the life they were there for him, but now when he is big his father is trying to isolate him, to turn him against me and them, so that he can destroy my family and make us apart.
My Allah part him with his life, Allahumma amin!
And whenever he does something and I explain to him that I understand his manipulation he will turn into victim and tell me how can I say or act like that after all he has done for me and my family.
His main treat is to promise many things, with no one asking, then if reminding him after about that, he will yell and say that we are so demanding, always asking something beyond his abilities LOL
So I said to kids never to expect anything. If he tell them that he will do somethign for them, they have to double or tripple their effort do do it alone, just to avoid dissapointment.
He does that to his own son as well. Telling him that he will take him to trip to Japan or anywhere else, then nothing like that will happed. He will go alone or with his friends somewhere, and later he will take his son on some cheap trip somewhere near. So he promisses things just to make people remind him of promisse and so make themselves look needy in his eyes. So he will feel more supreme, like other people needing him and he will then tell that it is too much pressure on him, all people demanding from him (what he alone promissed with no one asking).
When I am advicing my children anything in life he tells me that that is not love or care, I shall leave them do mistakes. Why shall I leave my own kids do mistakes if I already made them in life and now can tell them how to avoid them, and how to be more succesfull from scratch.
And when it comes to success it is all because of him!
I have to go away, leave everyone alone and not to take any credit. It is all because of him. Anyone around him can be successful as he radiates success and everyone around me must be a failure.
So my advices shall be dismissed, by sugesstions refused, my orders disresspected, and all my demands opposed. And that is how he teaches his son and says afterwards that it is teenage age, it should be like that, kids have to live now their own life, not to listen to me, to go and make their own mistakes. How would some father yearn so much about his own kids to do mistakes!
And after all that he will cassually say that I am the best mother in the world, just so that he can later try to make me worthless. LOL
Alhamdulillah when Allah protects us from shaytans and similar whisperers. :D
When we were training hard he accused me that I am forcing kids to train and adviced his son to refuse trainings, and he even arrange in the club with club manager to kick us out. He was saying that I am extreme, that I never do anything in moderation, that I force kids to be champions etc.
After we left, many years later his own son would say, if I stayed training I would be champion by now, I would have achieved this and that. I could see how his and my own son is sad because he stopped training. His father was just jealous that we are going out, having fun and having achievements on national level. My kids are athletic, tall and tallented in everything they ever tried. In is just in their DNA. A reason more for hating to see us training, making his own son against trainings.
But his son grows up in a gym, and he loves it and he will love it forever because it is part of his first five years of life. When he was five he won in a category of children of nine. If my kids had a normal father they would be world champions by now. And I am not saying that just as a mother, but as mother of kids who had three world chapions as trainers.
At home we have trpohies as champion of champions, best basketball player (in the best school team in the country) and others… But that all made me bad mother who is forcing kids to train.
And now instead of letting my kids find a job and pay their debt peacefully, my ex is trying to turn his own son against them, and let him feel entitled, superior and rightful to receive everything from them.
Meanwhyle his father will tell everyone how he is schooling his son alone after he raised three children, and that he hopes they care about him when he gets old. About him only, as they do not have mother worth of anything :D
And now he is trying hard to secure that his son and other two leave me and isolate themselves from me, so that he can secure them for himself and secure his non-pension old days.
As if he does not believe in Allah as the Provider. He must secure himself and turn kids towards him only, letting them feeling indebted and obliged to care forever about him only.
Big humanitarian is securing his future and his reputation and his controling needs. Everything is under control. Except that ex wife. She knows so much about narcists, sociopaths and psychopats that only her death can secure him from her. But she has Allah as her Protector. And who is in war with Allah finishes as a loser, his insecurities comes in spotlight, and he reaps what he saws.

Shamoosa
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Posts: 258

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