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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
>students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
>
>Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
>3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
>grade too!"
>
>Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
>
>While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
>principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he
would
>give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was

>to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
>
>Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
>agreed to take the test.
>
>Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
>
>Harry: "9."
>
>Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
>
>Harry: "36."
>
>And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
>should know.
>
>The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go
>to the 3rd grade."
>
>Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
>
>The principal and Harry both agreed.
>
>Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?"
>Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
>
>Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
>
>The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!
>
>Harry replied: "Pockets."
>
>Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
>
>Harry: "Pants."
>
>Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, is
>delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
>
>Harry: "Coconut."
>
>The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
>
>Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"
>The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
>answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
>
>Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
>and a dog does on three legs?"
>
>Harry: "Shake hands."
>
>The principal was trembling.
>
>Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
>lot of heat and excitement?"
>
>Harry: "Firetruck."
>
>
>
>The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry
>in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "

thats hilarious

An Italian, a Scotsman & a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman
points out a huge pile of sand & says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge
of sweeping."

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to
make a dent
in that there pile."

So the foreman goes away for a couple hours & when he returns, the pile of
sand is
untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chineeesa fella
that he a wasa
ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared & I no coulda finda him
nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman & says,"And you, I thought I told you
to shovel
this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah could nay get meself a
shoovel! Ye left
th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah could nay fin' him
either."

The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to
look for the
Chinese guy ... Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of
sand & yells
. . . . . . "SUPPLIES!!!!!!"

A blonde and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a long flight. To pass the time, the lawyer suggested that they try to stump one another with trivia.

"If I ask you something that you don't know, you owe me $5. The same goes if you ask me something I don't know." The blonde refused.

"Okay. If you don't know an answer, you pay me $5, but if I don’t know an answer, I pay you $50."
The blonde accepted. The Lawyer went first.
"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde didn't say anything, but merely reached into her purse, pulled out a $5 bill and handed it to the lawyer. Then it was her turn.

"What has four legs going up a hill, but only three coming down?"

The lawyer had no idea, so he gave her a $50 bill.

"So, what is it?"

The blonde said nothing, but merely reached into her purse and gave a $5 bill to the lawyer.

and he thought she was a dumb blonde, trying to take advantage of her...shame on him

bushra21 wrote:and he thought she was a dumb blonde, trying to take advantage of her...shame on him

Well I suppose you could look at it that way

sage & onion wrote:A blonde and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a long flight. To pass the time, the lawyer suggested that they try to stump one another with trivia.

"If I ask you something that you don't know, you owe me $5. The same goes if you ask me something I don't know." The blonde refused.

"Okay. If you don't know an answer, you pay me $5, but if I don’t know an answer, I pay you $50."
The blonde accepted. The Lawyer went first.
"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde didn't say anything, but merely reached into her purse, pulled out a $5 bill and handed it to the lawyer. Then it was her turn.

"What has four legs going up a hill, but only three coming down?"

The lawyer had no idea, so he gave her a $50 bill.

"So, what is it?"

The blonde said nothing, but merely reached into her purse and gave a $5 bill to the lawyer.

old joke old sage but classic

sniper420 wrote:

sage & onion wrote:A blonde and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a long flight. To pass the time, the lawyer suggested that they try to stump one another with trivia.

"If I ask you something that you don't know, you owe me $5. The same goes if you ask me something I don't know." The blonde refused.

"Okay. If you don't know an answer, you pay me $5, but if I don’t know an answer, I pay you $50."
The blonde accepted. The Lawyer went first.
"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde didn't say anything, but merely reached into her purse, pulled out a $5 bill and handed it to the lawyer. Then it was her turn.

"What has four legs going up a hill, but only three coming down?"

The lawyer had no idea, so he gave her a $50 bill.

"So, what is it?"

The blonde said nothing, but merely reached into her purse and gave a $5 bill to the lawyer.

old joke old sage but classic

So old my Grandfather fell out of his cot laughing at it