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your views about love


zaynab There is a boy, smart, handsome and kind, yes girls that's exists! BUT I don't know really it's very hard to understand my story. I think he loves me but he is afraid of marriage. He told me he is lost and I told him it's finished. He did not call me for 2 weeks. Do you think he has another girl in his life? Many reasons that are ridiculous for me are: * he is lebanese and I'm french (from an arabic country) * he is very attached to his country * religion: his family is very practitioner (do you know the 2 branches in islam). Sorry because I'm very tolerant and I don't like making divisions between people. I know this relation is very complicated and the distance between us does not improve all BUT I'm fond of this man and I can not love nor marry another man I'm sure of this. So I think I will stay alone with my love for him. There is a friend who told me: "love is better than be loved" I was ready to make sacrifices for him maybe I did not show him but now I think it's unusefull. Please could you tell me your views? your advices are welcome. PS: sorry for my horrible english
tinkerbella There could be many reasons why his behaving the way he is towards you....call him ask him why his ignoring you! Fair enough his affraid of commitment but it doesnt mean he should blank you all together! make sure he gives you reasons why his being like that? If he doesnt tell you why, then you will have to move on his not the one for you! and just think you deserve better then that! Because if he truely loves you he wouldnt do this, right????? I know its hard to just give up and move on but sometimes you have to do things for yourself to make you happy....when being in a relationship theres got to be talking involved, he needs to be more open to you about whats going through his head or else the relationship will break! Sorri if i sound harsh but its the truth! Hope everything works out well for you! :) easternjewel Hey zaynab; first of all, welcome to the heartache club :) I do not understand, why wouldnt he marry you? and why didnt he bother to call you? I understand that you love him, but does he love you aswell? They say "Do not marry the one that you love, but the one who loves you" You mentioned that the distance between you and him is increasing. I say, if you really love him, and dont want to let go, try to work on this area the best. Do as much as you can to know whats going on in his mind. And when you do, try to work it out. If he is not ready to marry ýet' then can you wait? Will his and your family accept this relationship? are you ready to go against your family if they dont? If youre making sacrifices make sure youre doing it for the right person my friend. I tried answering you, because once upon a time i was in the same scenerio. But the info you provided was too little; Good luck :) sa4877 A male perspecitve: A man may get a little intimidated about marriage but if he is refusing to see you since you poped the question..... just kick arse and beat him up. He is immature or just looking at having a good time with you. :-) sniper420
Herez a super-1 formula which will always work! Meet him in public slap left and right cheekz as hard as u can and yell at the top of ur lungs "Y did u leave meeeeeeeee? U left ur baby on my bellyyyyyy!!!! And he will be forced to marry u..... and u both will live happily eva after.... simple as 1,2 :lol: zaynab I'm so sorry to reply just now but I'm very touched by all your answers and your advices, so many thanks all Maybe I have to forget this man but it's too much hard for me to realise that this man is not for me. Be sure if I knew that he does'nt love me I would forget him and meet someone else. But till now I don't want to leave him and I can not imagine to be with another one. Do you understand me? I have called him back because he was ill and I did not manage to tell him why does he act like that with me. I just tell him by e-mail why does he ignore me. And he replies to me saying that he was irritated because of my words. In fact I'm not able to understand him, he is very complex. He is not sure of himself. He does not know in which country he will live till now because he has'nt any job in Lebanon for the moment. So I think this is the reason why he does not want to tell me anything about commitment. Besides he told me that he wanted to marry a lebanese girl at the begining because it was easier for him (and his family) but after a while he changed his opinion and he said that I was responsible for that. It was one of the reasons among which I have kept the hope to remain with him. Thank you all... Take care of yourself and the others :-) sniper420 Did u try my formula yet? :lol: easternjewel
Baby in the belly? Lol
For some guys it is a more of a solid reason to ditch the girl! yorky500 From an ADULT males perspective. Yes, perhaps he is inimidated and the Religion thing could be a major factor in that decision of him to not contact you and refuse your suggestions of marriage. If from a strict upbringing, his parents will no doubt want to have a say in who he marries! ( i could be wrong) Time is a great healer and by saying you will never love or marry another man is ridiculous, i mean it. It is an immediate reaction. You need to go out, let your friends support you and in time, you will meet another guy, but whatever you do, NEVER, EVER compare another man to him. We are all different and have different qualities. Soome bad, some good, it will be up to you which quality you are looking for. HP [color=red]I was first fallen in love when I was 6 years old kid ,oh yeah baby as Austin power says;0) ,I was in deep love with my school teacher ,whenever she used to pull my cheeks I felt myself damn lucky.
It was inception and before reaching 14 ,I fallen in love with more than 50 girls and I never had courage to express my innocent feeling . well I was quite shy guy. But when i learnt how to express my feeling............ [/color]
to be continued
[color=blue]advice to author of this post [/color]
[color=red]
Love doesn’t exist , if it exist,it never exist in middle east .Have you ever read any romantic book written by arab author ? they mostly write “ idiot’s guide to suicide bombing “ 101 ways to kill Jewish” Camel racing with kids “ etc etc ,so just leave that arab guy.
If you are enthusiastic, willing to accept new challenges , jst take my hand , I have proven track of being successful love making person . [/color]

what do you say major pain?

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sniper420
Yeah that was with a donkey but this animal named zaynab is female homo sapiens :lol: HP
[color=red]i didnt make luv wid u , did i :P !! well she can try my luv if she doesnt like , money back gurantee :oops:
PS" where are liban and major pain now a days? " [/color] zaynab Thank u Yorky you might be right but I don't understand these kind of parents who want to choose a girl for their son. He is 26 years old, he is not a kid! Maybe I'm wrong but lately he said to me that I was too much french (is that a reason? ridiculous !!!!) I was very surprised by that because I love arabic ppl and arabic cultures, I'm very proud of my arabic roots. Of course, I was born in France so I am used to live like french ppl and I'm not able to speak arabic but I have a lot of arabic friends cauz I feel very close to them. Moreover I'm muslim so plz HP respect me (Dell is better quality :wink: no sorry I'm joking) so I have principles (I hope you understand what I mean). I have told him I'd like to wear the Hijab and to become a real muslim woman you know but I think he doesn't believe me. Little bracket: I can not now because it's not allowed in France to study nor work wearing the Hijab you know, that's why I'd like to go in Emirates, this my dream. So your ideas are welcome. Regarding this man I'm starting to understand that I don't deserve him. I'm not saying I'm a angel but there are somethings you could do when you love someone that you can not understand but you do, you give (you only reason with your "elb" (heart)). And when you realise that the return is not really here I think you have understand that you could nothing to do more... give up is the best thing to do and that's what I have done. May God help me to hold on to my sufferings Be happy in your life sa4877 Hey Zaynab, I think thats a good decision. I don't think this guy deserves you. Well I am obviously passing judgements based on a few posts I have read on this thread. But the whole thing and his reaction sound sinister to me. Move on..... have a life. easternjewel Yeh sa4877 is right (what kinda nick is that anyway? :D ) I am so proud of your decision! really.. Life moves on and... you know there are many nice men out there! and am sure future holds the best for you :) Good luck habibty! HP
[color=red]islam doesn't allow to fall in pre-marriage relationship ,doesn't it? well i heard that French Govt has banned head scarf ,so i think we all should bane " French kiss" in Islamic countries :P
Few days ago ,I was interviewed at Dell ,it was informal interview , i wished to tell HR lady"damn u , HP is better than Dell" ( wink).
[/color] sniper420
Yeah Yeah. Since when did monkeys have money? Ah those money collected in the zoo while "monkeying around" eh? :lol: Sloane Ranger
Hey Zaynab, don't be so upset it is life and life has to move on. Life won't stop for you even if that man has gone from your life forever. My Girl Friend has left me I thougt I would die when love for her ends, but mostly strangely I live on. So please don't be so despaired, allow time to cure all your wounds.
BTW, I am single and handsome :wink:
Cheers. D-Unit yall come with crazy advice..girl zaynab...just go knock on his door and tell his parents that u r carrying his child(put a pillow under ur shirt) and i guarantee u that his u will marry him..if not..then pay a guy to date u and go the same places that ur ex goes to so u can rub it in his face..if none of this works..then take formula 1.. anyways..about wearing a scarf(hijab) for a guy to think that u have become a better person...DONT ..cuz u should only do it if u feel that it is right for YOU..otherwise i bet u will regret it and feel stupid that u have sacrafised so much for him.. and i bet u will sit in a year or so and laugh at this..cuz u will realize that u r better and u deserve more..so ditch the bitch..and keep ur dignity..
HP
hahahaha how innocent , again I don’t have good relationship with the Sweden ,otherwise I would have been nominated you for noble prize of “ genius girl". :P

[color=red]why to pay ? guys are always ready to date no matter how ugly a gal is hehehe , she can save some money :P am i right skat? [/color] yshimy
cummon HP, lets not start racial comments please, i think you can do much better. and... This is called Dubai forum, if you don't like arabs don't come to their countries and don't talk here.... ( I wonder how moderators do accept such racial comments) beside, yo don't read arabic so don't make assumptions about arabic romantic stories.
Anyway.
Zeinab, just a question, might be stupid, but from what i hear it is long distance relation? am i right???? but anyway, if it is, then don't worry, he is not a perfect person, usually you can think this guys is amazing online, but you actually didn't meet or didn't have day to day interaction to judge on his personality, your relation is just some letters on each others screen... sorry if i made it so abstract.
Cheer up, you already took your decision, but, just don't have in mind that you are not good for him, i can see you were willing to do many sacrifices so you did all you can, he should move the extra mile and do the rest.
So, Have a clear conciounce dumping him.
Cheers and good luck with your life. zaynab
Many thanks yshimy
But what has gone on is a bit different compared to what you can guess.
You know, this story is totally ridiculous and I can not understand -- that's very funny.
One thing is undeniable: he LOVES me (he is even in love). So, we are both suffering. He told me somethings that I can not reveal in public :wink: but it will remain in my heart all my life.
Let me explain to you my thoughts about it. If a girls tells you: "choose between your family and me ?" What will you do, I don't think you would say "ok, I choose you because I love you". I'm not saying that I told him to make a choice. But in my views if he accepted to marry me that's like he renunce to his family (who is very conservative people).

In addition we was both student and our rooms were not far from each other. So I know him maybe more than his former gf (he stayed a long time with her). Indeed we saw each other mostly everyday.
What I liked from him is his respect for people, his open mind, his practice of Islam, etc. Don't wory he has defects: he is nervous, irritable and macho (a real man so :cry: !).
I also want to say to HP that I have always wanted to wear Hijab so that I want to be with a real muslim man :) zaynab Sorry I made a mistake I wanted to leave a message to D-Unit (see the last sentence of my post) not HP. I think because HP tried to irritate me. D-Unit hey zaynab..
zaynab wrote:

what u r saying about wearing the hijab is similar to what im saying..u r doing it for a man..im not trying to judge u..but think about it..u have to do it for your self and not for anybody else.. ..but best of luck hope u get the man of ur dream
ps. about the two branches of islam..i know how u feel..my sister is going through the same shit..and i think that we have to fight for it and not let it be the reason for not approving the marriage..
tutelu zaynab
So you agree that it makes no sense. Even some of my friends told me I'm wrong not to give up this relation owing to religion.
As regards the Hijab, I think you don't understand me.
If want to wear that's for God and only for God.
Hope your sister will marry this man and have a lot of childs :love8: HP
[color=red]I don’t understand the logic behind covering the hairs of head. Scarf should mean to cover all body with proper dress, so that no one can feel sexual attraction toward a female ;0).
Most of muslim girls get scarf in inheritance and use as a family value, it is the same as you put some weight on donkey and donkey walks and walk as long as someone is have Stick in his hand. The stick is family.
When someone wear scarf we conclude that she is practicing Muslim ?
somewhere else you mentioned about having boy friend ,just pondering if boy friend of such kind of relationship exist inside islam? a real muslim doesnt enjoy free trial with different girls before chosing the last :P
so stop mentioning Islam ,scarf and real muslim in your topic and dont bring more shame on the name of Islam , just chose your own way and be happy :P [/color]
[color=blue]sorry if i hurted u [/color] HP [color=red]I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally[/color] Liban
You are one ignorant SOB... zaynab
You hate yourself first that' s why you hate everybody
What a pity for you! D-Unit HP you shouldent be talking...after all look at ur subject: romance option and since when did u become an imam telling about how hijab is supposed to be .. damn what an ignorant! HP
[color=red]A person doesn’t need to have bear or title of “Imam “ to make certain comments as long as it is not so called “ fatwa”. I made some comments concerning scarf without issuing any Fatwa.
Look at the topic in hand instead of browsing other threads. [/color]
now lets look at the statments of zynab

[color=red]Here is the part which forced me to write something about scarf , zynab's Boyfriend and his practice of islam and decision of zynab to wear Hijab. So read the topic in-hand and analyze my input ;0)
[/color]

[color=red]i think i pressed the right button ;0). If i am ignorant then look at your own comments "
[/color] Barzie Im not really suprised by HP's comments. You only have to read his comments on this forum and realise that he is few cans short of a six-pack. What I am suprised by is the people giving him the attention that he truely does not deserve. Let him be and hopefully he might let us be........... My first and last post on this matter. Cheers Chocoholic Hey Zynab, Here's my 2 cents worth: First of all sorry to say but Lebanese guys - been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. They love to play around with girls of different nationalities but will generally marry their own, mainly to keep the family happy. The guy is only 26, it's not old at all trust me, most guys I know have zero intention of settling down untill their 30's - too much fun to be had. I know love hurts, but have a little more respect for yourself, if this man loves you and had any intention of marrying you, and the relationship was strong enough, then family, religion, nothing should get in the way of that. 'You don't deserve him?' Rubbish - he sure as heck doesn't deserve you!!! Why don't you try the tough girl routine, ignore him, go out and have yourself some fun and 9 times out of 10, they come running! Toughen up, put your heart back in the box and forget about him, he's not worth it. If you want to wear the Hijab for your own personal reasons, then good for you. Forget about all this pretending to be pregnant stuff- that's ridiculous, yeah pull that one and have a guy who'll resent and hate you and the child for the rest of your life, it's called entrapment, it's a dirty disgusting trick and any girl who pulls that on a guy is disgraceful. Things are hard when we're in love, but what worries me is your reasons for wanting a real muslim man - why? You know if your will to practise this is your own personal choice, why on earth do you need a bloke to complete it. Toughen up chick, life's to short to be crying over some guy that's runs at the first sign of things getting heavy. D-Unit choco letting her pretend that she is pregnant was just a joke..i think that goes for the other people who mentioned it aswell.. zaynab..hope u didnt take that as a seriouse advice.. easternjewel
There is a certain point in what HP said. Many Muslim girls here cover their head with Shelah/scarf, but the way they are dressed can not be defined as Hijab. (Skin tight tops, low waist trousers? ultra tight figure revealing skirts?)
I am not against it, because I am a person who believes "Something is better then nothing" atleast they cover their heads, unlike me!
And HP, tell me, why do you oversimplify and wrap up every issue like that? -"Youre a Muslim, you can not have a bf"
I agree Muslims can not keep contact with na Mehrum but for God sake we are not discussing What a Muslim ought to do and what they shouldnt!
I believe; [color=red] "to everyone their own"[/color] HP
[color=red]That's the reason i am in love with you ;0). After reading the story of Zynab some people must be thinking that Islam suppresses women. On the contrary, Islam has actually liberated women. Right from the day a woman is born till the day she dies. She has the freedom to choose whatever she wants for her. She is free to choose her career and education, islam encourages it ... She is free to choose a life partner so much so that she can even initiate a proposal ( but it doesnt mean to spend nights to understand each other) , islam . if she desires, she can get the right to divorce her husband just like a man can divorce his wife .... she can choose freely if she wants to work or stay home ... islam has absolutely no restrictions imposed on her ...[/color]

PS" Thanks for wasting my time " fayz Oh my god, did Hell freeze over or was that an semi-intelligent, more or less well written post from HP. zaynab
plz HP tell me where have you been educated? in the jungle? :shock: anyway your manners are disgusting...
But wake up! we are humanbeings not animals. So plz stop assuming somethings about me. You don't know me, do you?
After all I have asked for advices not judgements! Nobody oblige you to reply if you don't feel concerned by this topic.
Anyway I don't want to waste my time with a guy like you.
Many thanks the others for your advices! HP
Fayz habibi !!
[color=red]You are making me blush :P. although we have differences of opinion sometime. [/color]

[color=red]If you have to ask, you're entitled to know my opinion .
If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
But best of luck with " lost luv" :oops: . By the way where do u live now a days? [/color] Chocoholic [color=red]That's the reason i am in love with you ;0). After reading the story of Zynab some people must be thinking that Islam suppresses women. On the contrary, Islam has actually liberated women. Right from the day a woman is born till the day she dies. She has the freedom to choose whatever she wants for her. She is free to choose her career and education, islam encourages it ... She is free to choose a life partner so much so that she can even initiate a proposal ( but it doesnt mean to spend nights to understand each other) , islam . if she desires, she can get the right to divorce her husband just like a man can divorce his wife .... she can choose freely if she wants to work or stay home ... islam has absolutely no restrictions imposed on her ...[/color]
[b]
That maybe true HP, BUT has anyone told the MEN who use Islam to oppress women that? I one country there's a big conference to get the holy texts re-interpreted because many women there are unhappy at the way Islam IS used as an excuse to make women live a subservient life, when clearly Islam teaches that all people are equal! Pumpkin Escobar I think the modesty about the Muslim women can be attractive. I would just like a chance. I tend to treat bad girls.....bad, but I also treat good girls great. Muslim women...YOU GO GURL!! HP
[color=red]Its not may be but thats true. Religion doesn’t provide upper hand to a man . Certain situations in life are handled much better by men while certain others are handled in a much better way by women. There are areas where a man performs much better and there are areas where a woman performs best and then there are areas where both can perform equally well. According to Islam, its a man's DUTY to provide for his wife in economic terms while its not a wife's DUTY to prepare food for her husband. If she does so, she is nice and sweet because she is not obliged to do so and its not her duty to do that. How many of you knew about this????
Firstly man and woman are different. They just cant have the same rights because they are physically , psychologically, and emotionally quite different. Both have clearly defined roles in a society. A woman has certain limitations which is not the case with a man. The most obvious ones are relatively lesser physical strength and endurance, pregnancy, and menstrual cycles. Pregnancy affects women's physical and mental ability. During a menstrual cycle, most women have problems like back pain, mental stress, bad mood etc
Men are very dumb in certain areas while women are extremely creative. Women by nature are less aggressive, sweeter, kinder, and polite. Ask a man to take care of an infant one night and the next day he will be willing to either kill himsef or the baby while a woman knows how to love and how to give selflessly.[/color]
conclusion :
[color=red]Different cultures affect the understanding of Islam to a great extent. Most people tend to grow their according to cultural norms rather than religious standards. Culture is different across different continents. do not have a solid understanding of their own faith, and particularly the teachings of the Qur'an. So culturally muslims may say they are Muslims, but their behaviour and their understanding are faulty because they are not able to follow islam (u can find lot of examples). [/color] Chocoholic HP what total and utter rot! Just because women are different does not make us weaker! I know plenty of guys who have their own 'menstrual cycle' they have times when they're moody, aggressive etc what the hell is the difference? Back pain, give me a break about 60% of the worlds population suffer from back pain, it's more to do with lifestyle and rubbish posture. Just because people are different does not mean they don't deserve to be treated equally! Men are not superior beings, you guys try juggling all the things women do, you'd have a nervous breakdown in about a week. And tell you that there are plenty of things that guys can't do as well as women. Recent stufies have shown that women are calmer under pressure and that women make the best astronauts as our bodies are more able to cope with being space and that men won't cope as well with long range deep space missions. Need I remind you that the Commander of the recent shuttle mission was a woman?! Also many of the original forms of beliefs and worship were based on goddess worship and that women were the superior beings. If we ruled the world then it would be a damn sight better - I guarantee it!!! HP
[color=red]If you read my topic, I never claimed that women are weaker or they should treat like goats . I said both genders play the different role in society. Open your brain not your mouth ;0) [/color]

[color=red]
I cited an example ,again awake the dead brain cells ;0). I dont know if guys also have menstrual cycle in arab world :P might be FyaZ habibi wearing double underwear during his bad days hehehe.
I think menstrual cycle affects the mental health too ,that’s why you are talking about menstrual cycle of guys :P .........are u in bad days? [/color]

[color=red]
sweetheart !! again ,i never said that ;0) . You are making an argument jst for the sake of argument without understanding .[/color]

[color=red]Jesus christ !! i think u shuld try to read again ;0) [/color]

[color=red]Thats what i wrote in above post ;0) [/color] easternjewel You guys are making me puke! Choco, Hps saying xactly what your saying,but in his expression of vocabulary.... He's talking about right and good sides of a women.. whats the arguement for?? HP
[color=red]Thanks Eastern Rani ;)
Thats the reason i luv u :P
choco is typical western girl with full of prejudices against eastern societies and exploitation of women ;0). The girl like chococ when ends up wid a relationship , she cries and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she writes a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life.
:P [/color] decent_4u23 Dear Zaynab, Just have a patience. time wil heal everything u wil get ur soulmate. take care :) Chocoholic Not typical anything HP! Now who's judging? I'm all for women empoering themselves and I can stand to see girls crying needlessly over blokes, because you know there's always plenty more fish in the sea. decent_4u23 u r rite choco :)



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