yorky500
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he
glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate
would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual
Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen
sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,
"What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from
my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native
American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. I
have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm Sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't
even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
:lol: :lol:
bushra21
lol, that was funny
....
devilsdiciple
:lol: :lol:
sage & onion
Good old one this is :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
zam
BwaHahahahhahaha
Concord
:lol: :lol: I almost knocked over my breakfast (maple syrup, bagel and grits) laughing about it.
fayz
lmao, that was classic.
Oh and Concord you need to replace maple syrup with buffalo, don't want anyone confusing you with someone who lives in an igloo :lol: :lol:
Concord
- fayz wrote:
lmao, that was classic.
Oh and Concord you need to replace maple syrup with buffalo, don't want anyone confusing you with someone who lives in an igloo :lol: :lol:
Buffalo, gefilte fish and ribs are lunch items :wink:
Legendkiller
A guy goes into a bar after work for a drink. Sits at the bar and orders a beer. As he's sitting there, he looks behind the bar and notices a barrel FILLED with hundred dollar bills. He asks the bartender,
"Hey, what's the deal with that barrel?". The bartender replies,
"Don't even worry about it pal, it's bad news". The man insists to know what the deal with the barrel is. Finally the bartender gives in and tells him,
"Ok, to start you need to put your hundred dollar bill in the barrel. First, you have to go fight our bouncer". The bartender points toward the door at a giant bouncer in a black suit. "You have to knock him out in the fight. If you survive that, I'll give you a key to the back room. In that room is a pitbull. You have to bring me out one of the dog's teeth. Then, if you somehow can get through that, there is a 90 year old woman upstairs you must have sex with. If you survive all 3 of those tasks, the entire barrel of money is yours".
The man shakes his head and says, "Forget it".
A couple of hours go by and the man has had a lot more beers then he intended. Getting up his beer nerves he shouts out and slurs,
"I'm going for the barrel!!!"
He gets off his bar stool and throws his money in the barrel. Goes to turn around to head towards the bouncer but is so drunk that he trips and falls sending his beer mug sailing through the air which hits the bouncer square in the face knocking him out cold. The entire crowd starts cheering the man on as he manages to get back to his feet.
He grabs the key from the bartender and stumbles towards the back room with the pitbull. He closes the door behind him and for the next half hour all the crowd heard was the man screaming and the dog barking and going crazyyyy. Suddenly the noise just stops. Fearing the worst, the bartender begins to walk to the room figuring he will find the man dead.
Just then, the door swings open and the man comes out bloody and beaten and with torn clothes he blurts out,
"Ok... now where's this old woman who's teeth I have to pull???
Hamid Malik
LOL HAHAHHAAHHA! THAT WAS SO FUNNY LMAO.
CLASSIC :lol: :lol: :laughing3:
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iurca
LOOL!!!