Red Chief
Night. Empty Deira City Center.
Colonel (in faded British military uniform, weak-sighted after German gas attack in WWI but still brave). He is climbing on the stage and groaning.
-You asked me (nobody asked him because nobody around) what we, Great Britain, should do for Afghanistan. The main problems there are poor governance, poor huts and women. These Afghans are so corrupt and fanatic. They don’t like us and most of them are terrorists probably. Another problem is Afghan’s huts and caves. A civilized man can’t live there without electricity and closet. You see that all of these absolutely useless and can’t be repaired.
So I offer to pull down all these huts by UAW together with their inhabitance and build absolutely new modern skyscrapers and settle them another law-abiding people. Such way we will decide both problems: poverty and terrorism.
We are not invaders but we have a lot of things to do. I will show the horizon. Our Great Empire will have left Afghanistan by 2209 for sure. We are not like that bloody commies who were going to stay there for good but ran away cowardly after 10 years. How lousy this Bolshevik’s Empire has been.
Passerby (mid aged tourist with pale face and long red nose).
- Bolsheviks were over 90 years ago. Land from your warhorse please and let’s speak about beautiful women.
Lady (indefinite age because she is covered in long black dress from top to toe. You can see only her eyes and high hills that were made from 20 cm. nails. She is suffering from each step. That’s why she is always in gloomy vein.)
(Screaming) - My beauty? You are a bloody jerk!!! I’m not a hag.
Kid (riding pedal car with a label MWB on the hood)
(Crying) – Mummy, my pants are wet. I don’t like this scary game.
Passerby to lady:
(Puzzled) -Is it your kid?
Lady (pretends that she doesn’t know the boy)
(Angrily) - I've got to the bottom of you now. You have a thing to this handsome experienced man and want to posses him entirely but you are out of equation!!!
Crying. Screaming. Swearing. Fighting.
The curtain drops.
Bora Bora
:roll: Oh my, not making any sense. He's off on another tangent again. Or is it another failed attempt at humor? Poor thing. :P
kanelli
At first I thought he was on vodka most of the time, but now I think it is crack.
Speedhump
:D
I missed this crooked house of a post before! Really crazy fairground stuff. :shock:
I'm too busy last week/this week putting my military camels through their drill to pay much attention. Now I remember what hard work is like! :D Let me come back to this at some future time.
Anyway, caps off to RC for attempting satire! I hope to have time one day to show him how its done correctly. ;)
Red Chief
Too busy to be witty again. Next time. :wink:
RobbyG
- Red Chief wrote:
Too busy to be witty again. Next time. :wink:
Stop drinking you bloody Chiefert. Just look at that nose already...
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Red Chief
It was a fiction, Rob. Don't take it too personal. Nevetheless keep your pants dry on this rocket. 8)
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RobbyG
- Red Chief wrote:
It was a fiction, Rob. Don't take it too personal. Nevetheless keep your pants dry on this rocket. 8)
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Don't worry, I can handle a joke or two ;)
Might even return the favor...Againnn :D
ps: You got my style allright. Keep it up 8)
Misery Called Life
Hey Red Chief keep the creativity flowing! :D
Feel free to post any of your other works not based on DF characters!
Speedhump
- Misery Called Life wrote:
Hey Red Chief keep the creativity flowing! :D
Feel free to post any of your other works not based on DF characters!
Well, you are there assuming a life outside of DF for the commissar... ;) :P
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