sage & onion
**Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
**Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
**Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
**Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
**Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
**Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
**Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
**Classic: books that people praise, but do not read.
**Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
**Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
**Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
**Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
**Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
**Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
**Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
**Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
**Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
**Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See, I am not injured yet."
**Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
**Father: A banker provided by nature.
**Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
**Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
**Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
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Palkid7
- sage & onion wrote:
**Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & [color=red]a fool on the other.[/color]
Ouch, u will get alot of comments on this one
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
sauron
Yeah, like:
Sage & Onion : something you shove up a turkey's backside
( sorry, Sage - couldn't resist ) :oops: :
Palkid7
- sauron wrote:
Yeah, like:
Sage & Onion : something you shove up a turkey's backside
( sorry, Sage - couldn't resist ) :oops: :
lmao :lol: :lol:
Jeevan
i know the feminist force in here would kill me for this but neways
Kiss: An application at the headquarters for entry at the base.
* goes underground
sage & onion
- sauron wrote:
Yeah, like:
Sage & Onion : something you shove up a turkey's backside
( sorry, Sage - couldn't resist ) :oops: :
Hahahahahahahaha
bushra21
so...these aren't real definitions from the dictionary?
sage & onion
- bushra21 wrote:
so...these aren't real definitions from the dictionary?
Hi Bushra, you mean you don't have the latest copy, sorry :cry:
bushra21
they're real? :oops: i didnt know that
bushra21
never mind...sage, that wasn't very nice :oops:
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sage & onion
- bushra21 wrote:
never mind...sage, that wasn't very nice :oops:
What wasnt my dear?, you gotta laugh though :lol:
jabbajabba
After sitting in a two hour conference call 'Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. ' made me chuckle.