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Office Romance?


PrettyPenny I need a little objective insight on my latest dilemma. I have a massive crush on someone at my office. This would not be too terrible aside from the fact that he's actually at a relatively senior level. Now, he's extremely professional and I'm quite sure has no clue that I think he's absolutely divine. He IS single! We've connected from the day we met. We will have hour long conversations about specific projects I'm working on with/for him. And he will always ask me about me. How I'm doing this week, about my family, etc. We've had a very similar upbringing though his was about 8 years before mine! Where as all his peers are lovely people to work with too, he takes a personal interest. Basically we connect. But I'm very wary of office romances and absolutely refuse to show any interest. But should I? And if so, then how? There must be a way to determine if the feeling is mutual? We have an excellent working relationship and we really enjoy working together cause we have an easy chemistry. What do you think?
arniegang If it feels right, do it !!! raidah find out if he feels the same. if he does, talk it over how u can keep this to urselves. cos if it comes out in the office, ur done... PrettyPenny The question is ... how do I approach it with him in the first place? There must be some way which wouldn't embarass me beyond belief if the feeling wasn't exactly mutual. arniegang Raidah With respect thats bollox. If both are single then there should be no issue whether or not 2 people connect and date in the same office. Saying "your done" is crap and you cannot possibly know this. If they dated and remained professional when in work, it shouldn't matter one bit. raidah uve got to be kidding. 1st, they would be the gossip target of the whole office. 2nd, she would never know from then on, who will be honest with her, and who will try to take advantage or mess up for them. 3rd, if as superior he would ever side with her on anything, lots of ppl will say its only cos they r together. the best way is to keep it to urselves. dont try to force out a situation, let things be. and if ur talking for hours, i assume many times alone, than at some point smthing will happen, if its meant to be. arniegang When you are in possession of the facts Raidah, maybe your observations would have some merit. You cannot possibly comment on something you have no knowledge. You know nothing about her office or the people that work there. Maybe you have experianced this, but it doesnt give you "carte blanche" to make it applicable to every office in the world. PrettyPenny I agree that its important to tread carefully but I also know that the office environment is supportive for the most part if people choose to date. I personally would be extremely discreet no matter what. But the issue at hand is, how do you determine that he's in fact interested? raidah what is ur problem? she asked a question, i made a comment to her post. and as much as i don t know if her office is a propper ground for the possibilities i described, u don t know either that its not. so u give ur oppinion, i give mine, and maybe others do the same. at the end its her choice to listen to one or the other, not urs to say that mine is incorrect. arniegang but i am not telling her in a summary that "her job could be on the line" Raidah" There is a huge difference between "giving an opinion" and "being opinionated" :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

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raidah it is a question of interpretation. i never said "ur job is done" u understand what u please. and since this thread is not about u lecturing me, i would kindly ask u to stop doing it. arniegang If someone on here asks for advice on a public forum, i reserve the right to interviene, this applies to all of us. If you do not wish to be subjected to scrutiny, then do not post advice if there is a possibility someone may oppose your views. raidah oppose my views. i have nothing against it, but don t lecture me. neither ur moderator status, not ur age r excuse for that. and since no matter what, u wanna have the last word...be my guest. not sure though why is it of any good to u, if u make smbody better avoid u, rather than have anything to discuss with u... now if u whish, pls go on with the lecturing. A64Venice
Go out together. Moester i say just go for it, tell him how you feel and get this relation going. life is too short to waste. KeithL What you are faced with is something so similar to the situation I was in at my office. There was a girl who was an excellent friend but I was unaware that she was in love with me until the time she proposed to me. It came as such a shock and since I didn’t feel any chemistry between us I refused in the politest of ways but she was so annoyed that she never spoke to me again. Now the other situation was a lovely lass who was a new recruit and her designation was the same as my boss. I fell in love instantly and used to call her up and speak about anything under the sun when she was on her way home every night. To cut a long story short, the friendship turned to mutual love and we are soon to be married. But.. she joined another company a little before we started dating so it was very easy to continue the relationship. We often wonder how difficult it would be if we both were still working in the same office ! kanelli I'm with raidah, you have to be careful about dating people from the office. Couples dating at the office definitely become gossip fodder, and if the couple have to work together there can be strain, accusations of favouritism etc. Finally, if the relationship doesn't work out, then the work environment can be strained, which isn't nice for the ex-couple or the coworkers if there is too much tension in the office. Having said this, there are lots of stories of things working out wonderfully, but it does seem that one person usually decides to switch companies so that all of the above becomes less of a problem. sharewadi Your heart ...

Your head ...

You can't control what you feel, only what you do.
There must be a reason why you're wary. Is it a good one? And what would you say to a friend who came to you with the same question?
Some companies frown on relationships between different level employees - for good reason. Would you (or he) quit jobs/change departments to be together?
Instead of worrying about whether or not a relationship is a good idea, why not try and arrange a social event that's not a date (eg go watch one of the world cup games with a few others) and see how it goes from there.
Crushes are not unusual, we all get them at awkward times - that cute teacher you had when you were 15 for example. And we usually get over them one way or another.
Get him drunk and jump his bones is an alternative strategy to consider :oops: . leelola Well I have been in your situation before. You should first find out what company protocol is concerning relationships within the workplace. Secondly, do you notice him dropping any hints what so ever? He might be trying to play it cool. I always believe in pursuing these massive crushes because they give us such a rush. My best advice to you is to look as hot as possible everyday to work. Strut that stuff! :lol:
PrettyPenny Hahah .... You guys are great! I'm not sure if I'll ever work up the courage to actually drop a hint, and I'm not quite sure if the hints he's dropping are actually hints or my hopelessly romantic head playing tricks on me. But if anything does come of it, (this has been going on for 6 months!) I'll be sure to share the joy! d3vilish_ang3l_88 yeah..u should give him really sutle hints like, a wink or dressing up hotter, ask him for a casual outing and stuff like that . :) Chocoholic That's another point, some companies don't like office relationships as they find it a hassle to deal with. PrettyPenny And the saga continues .... this man has me VERY confused .... they say its the cat and mouse games that make it so exciting .... I think this is more like hide and seek .... so many mixed messages .... DaveDXB oooh what heat on this subject.... :wink: nways....i taught myself a lesson from a very young age....u like him or her....SPANK that monkey! spankem in the arse early in the morning and tell him how much i want it! (correction: you want it) GADAMIT........u guys make me feel sick... i hate boy and girl games...... always be direct and to the point....it is u who shud know what YOU want....the hell with others and what they think. By the way, u didnt update us on what happened? so did it work out after all? PrettyPenny Whats to tell .... I can't get past my confusion and he's giving me mixed messages .... I'm sure men have SOME intuition .... I'm not exactly unreadable .... if its meant to be I suppose it'll happen ... DaveDXB So nothing so far! =\ i think u shud make a move... not a strong one....something light Why dont u invite him out for lunch.....not office lunch! but a real dinner at night,....u n him only! THAT WILL definitly give him the hint! PrettyPenny I think there is a long-term girlfriend in the picture .... recent discovery .... and also .... am a bit old fashioned, he should do the asking I think its kind of clear that I have a soft spot for him A64Venice
Unless you work in a big mnc with 300+ staff. Its no prob! :wink: PrettyPenny Well plenty of fish in the sea .... in the end he makes for an interesting diversion .... shouldn't take these things to seriously unless its actually transpiring into something ... KeithL
reminds me of the Fox and the Grapes story :lol: rana79 i dont thgink so that there is any thing wrong, go ahead and finish this for you as soon as possible.
good luck. saim [color=orange]Pretty i think u hav to go and say all which u hav in ur heart belive me truth always win [/color] Shadow
..... and save us all the trouble(just kidding), u'll find my opinion in my signatures, plus im literally dying to find out wat happens :) . neways, this is no problem where im working, ppl have all the freedom to like any1 they want, even they can marry each other. the company isn't least bothered.
[color=darkred]Hi Evryone[/color]
pls excuse me for jumping into a conversation(such an interesting 1, i'd say) withoutnot introducing myself first, so here im.
i've just moved to dubai(in june), and im trying my best to get used to with all the new things(ppl, job, places, culture everything), but to tell ya guys the truth i really am missing my family, my friends and all those fun times when i never realized they're such a belssing. however, im settled here for a bit now, made some friends here as well(i love to make new friends, have alot of capacity to accept diversity) and have started going to places and thanks god, i really've started liking dubai now.
Plz welcome me onboard...........
BR, Shadow HP
Do not express your feeling , whenever girls do that with me , i feel as i am prince . So take it easy and be a hard core , guys like the girls who are tough. Shadow
but HP, wat if that guy becomes interested in some other person in the meantime. i personally think that in these kinda situations one should always take a chance, bcoz there is no point in having a crush on some1 and keeping that to just urself.
Pretty, i think if u really like some1 then ur heart might already have communicated that to the other person in some way and its very very natural. u should always take that chance, step up and atleast throw the ball in that other person's court and who knows......... MaaaD
just coz you like bitches not everyone does. HP
shut up maad just shut up and shut up ...what do u mean that GAB , corco and (i dont wana even mention her name ) are bitches :shock: HP
If the guy likes her then he would not go for another person.
If you love someone set him free , if he comes back to ya , he is loser otherwise ya Shadow
and u think that he'd wait for her forever.... :roll: everybudy is not a romeo... :) hashman interesting.... reminds me of my time when I was involved with a very beautiful woman of junior position. We tried to hide it but once it leaked I was in trouble... When I tried to make some decisions in favor of her then fingers were pointed at me and when against she was mad. Finally we had a talk and made a decision. Since she had trouble getting a new job , I quit and got one. You have to pay when in love. HP she works with him and in case if he refuses then she would have no option but to leave the job. Its bit risk when u work at same place or study at same place. My best advice would be that she shuld ask in funny way and if he reponds positive then she shuld tell him otherwise she shuld laugh like idiots and say " hahah i was kidding what do u think i will go for ya " :) One of my class fellow at University used to send me mail by using unknown e-mail address. She didnt know that how easy it was for me to track her IP address to get know who she was :) . :P danial good idea zam
I say this is the best way to find out. Or did you already went out? How things going out now? :lol: lostguy
very simple..go out with him..ask him to join u in off the work places and then see how is his response..f he feels the sam he would love to spend time with u..and guyz r always waiting for such things ;) KeithL
I guess she was not pretty then huh ?? :?: :) HP
she was not pretty at all , although on msn she use nick "miss universe " :) . I think she got the title from blind people .
now we have to promote " saving the private girls of DFM" after choco's case. All of us know what happened . zam where is pretty penny now??? might be too busy with love life , hope so! :lol:



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