sara_uk
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the
wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma 'am. What are you doing?
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn 't that obvious?")
"You' re in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I' m sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I 'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I 'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I' ll have to charge you with s e x u a l assault," says the woman.
"But I haven' t even touched you," says the game warden.
"That' s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma' am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It' s likely she can also think.
bushra21
:lol:
d3vilish_ang3l_88
hehehe....very funny :lol: :lol:
Legendkiller
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's
go
to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
she
knows I'm smarter than her :!:
Legendkiller
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's
go
to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
she
knows I'm smarter than her :!:
d3vilish_ang3l_88
hehehe..very amusing!
d3vilish_ang3l_88
hehehe..very amusing!
oops..i posted twice...sorri !
tins210cd
the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out
the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..
Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol
see ya
sage & onion
- tins210cd wrote:
the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out
the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..
Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol
see ya
Who is tins?
d3vilish_ang3l_88
- sage & onion wrote:
- tins210cd wrote:
the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out
the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..
Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol
see ya
Who is tins?
i dont knw ?? :roll: :roll:
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easternjewel
good one guys!
sara_uk
- tins210cd wrote:
the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out
the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..
Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol
see ya
yup second one was very funny, the first one was posted by a girl!!! well sara is usually a girl's name :roll:
easternjewel
the 1st joke rocked! :D
mema
- sara_uk wrote:
- tins210cd wrote:
the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out
the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..
Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol
see ya
yup second one was very funny, the first one was posted by a girl!!! well sara is usually a girl's name :roll:
:lol: :lol: :lol: did'nt they learn anythn from the ur joke
sniper420
- Legendkiller wrote:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was
almost nearing fun satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's
go
to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having fun tonight either....but at least that
she
knows I'm smarter than her :!:
read that in digg longtime ago
tins210cd
Dont worry me human on this earthh
Sorry girl,, but did not find it funny......
catch youl later
sage & onion
- tins210cd wrote:
Dont worry me human on this earthh
Sorry girl,, but did not find it funny......
catch youl later
But tins, you have no sense of humour :wink:
weary_heart
- tins210cd wrote:
the second one was cooll,,, laughed my lungs out
the first one was borin, must be post from a girl..
Need to send the 2nd one to my girl lol
see ya
I like the first one hehehhe
I can buy my own diamonds! hehe
boomtown
First one was tops -second one sorry saw it from a mile off. Not bad try though :P