Living the Mom Life

easternjewel 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you! sniper420

• easternjewel wrote:
  1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
  "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
  2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
  "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
  3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
  "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
  4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
  " Because I said so, that's why."
  5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
  "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
  6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
  "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
  7. My mother taught me IRONY.
  "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
  8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
  "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
  9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
  "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
  10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
  "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
  11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
  "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
  12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
  "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
  13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
  "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
  14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
  "Stop acting like your father!"
  15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
  "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
  16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
  "Just wait until we get home."
  17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
  "You are going to get it when you get home!"
  18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
  "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
  
  19. My mother taught me ESP.
  "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
  20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
  "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
  21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
  "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
  22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
  "You're just like your father."
  23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
  "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
  24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
  "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
  25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
  "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!

Ironically ur Mom didnt teach u how to respect somebody's Mom? eh?
Proof (u need Fight Club pass) ajoy nice..remind me of my good old days.. EJ, are u going to follow suit when u become one.. sniper420

• easternjewel wrote:
  
  • sniper420 wrote:
    
    Ironically ur Mom didnt teach u how to respect somebody's Mom? eh?
    Proof (u need Fight Club pass)
  
  Ironically ur Mom didnt teach you anything at all. eh?

If I am to list things my mom taught me this forum will run out of space........one thing she always taught me is not to insult one's parents........if somebody does....spank em.......so r u ready to be spanked?
easternjewel

• sniper420 wrote:
  
  Ironically ur Mom didnt teach u how to respect somebody's Mom? eh?
  Proof (u need Fight Club pass)

Ironically ur Mom didnt teach you anything at all. eh? easternjewel

• sniper420 wrote:
  
  • easternjewel wrote:
    
    • sniper420 wrote:
      
      Ironically ur Mom didnt teach u how to respect somebody's Mom? eh?
      Proof (u need Fight Club pass)
    
    Ironically ur Mom didnt teach you anything at all. eh?
  
  If I am to list things my mom taught me this forum will run out of space........one thing she always taught me is not to insult one's parents........if somebody does....spank em.......so r u ready to be spanked?
  

yeeeehhhh right!! The behavior u display here clearly shows what uve been taught at home. you need not mention sniper420

• easternjewel wrote:
  
  • sniper420 wrote:
    
    • easternjewel wrote:
      
      • sniper420 wrote:
        
        Ironically ur Mom didnt teach u how to respect somebody's Mom? eh?
        Proof (u need Fight Club pass)
      
      Ironically ur Mom didnt teach you anything at all. eh?
    
    If I am to list things my mom taught me this forum will run out of space........one thing she always taught me is not to insult one's parents........if somebody does....spank em.......so r u ready to be spanked?
    
  
  yeeeehhhh right!! The behavior u display here clearly shows what uve been taught at home. you need not mention

mmmmmm....thanks for the admiration. I have a friend who is a psychologist...by showing her some of ur posts I asked her to analyze what kind of person u are.........she had three words....naive...shrewd.....arrogant...... of all I guess the first one is damn true. HP sniper 's mom or Stifler's Mom (American Pie 1) :P jst respect her mom eastern jewel :P sniper , say sorry to her ............ sniper420

• HP wrote:
  sniper 's mom or Stifler's Mom (American Pie 1) :P jst respect her mom eastern jewel :P
  sniper , say sorry to her ............

after being molested u still didnt suicide......the thread u post mostly ends in fight club....just think....EJ's principles ending in Fight Club garnished with good and bad swear words....it's like placing a holy book with porn0 magazine... :x HP

• sniper420 wrote:
  
  • HP wrote:
    sniper 's mom or Stifler's Mom (American Pie 1) :P jst respect her mom eastern jewel :P
    sniper , say sorry to her ............
  
  after being molested u still didnt suicide......the thread u post mostly ends in fight club....just think....EJ's principles ending in Fight Club garnished with good and bad swear words....it's like placing a holy book with porn0 magazine... :x

I can not see someone teasing E J :oops: ....she is nice girl and its u who always have spayware inside ........(wink).

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Mikkie Exellent Jewel... :-) I can relate to number 25, I have a daughter "just" like me.... Yikes!!!