Chocoholic
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20
years and I appreciate many of their features.
Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency,
I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd
certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white
shorts.
But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings.
Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.
I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing
there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher?
Ever suffered from "the curse"?
I'm guessing you haven't.
Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now.
As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging
through my body.
Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be
transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred
hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no
doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during
your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo".
Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and
cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and
out-of-control behaviour.
You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.
In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent
urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill
just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by
drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America
is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants...
which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted
to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an
Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were
these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you f*cking kidding me?
What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain
really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is
possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned
above sound the least bit pleasurable?
Well, did it, James?
FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will
never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack
yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so
you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed
with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a
blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man!
If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad,
wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent,
like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are
you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I
have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere.
And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not
for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit.
And that's a promise I will keep... Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
HP
Can u please write this post in "Dubai event" , so we know exactly when r u having bad days . :lol:
HP
- Chocoholic wrote:
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit.
And that's a promise I will keep... Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
If you are not gonna miss their brandname , why have u wasted time writing this letter.
Dont tell me that Mr. Thatcher is sage & onion .
sage & onion
- HP wrote:
- Chocoholic wrote:
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit.
And that's a promise I will keep... Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX
If you are not gonna miss their brandname , why have u wasted time writing this letter.
Dont tell me that Mr. Thatcher is sage & onion .
Now now HP, what happened to the leader of my Fan Club, do you need me to raise your salary already????
XRW-147
So should we start calling you Wendi?
bushra21
thats pretty funny....
happy period... now thats one hell of an oxymoron
Not_Sure
Took me a while to understandc wh the ell a maxi pad or wonder wiong or whatever funny names these tampons have.....
HP
- Not_Sure wrote:
Took me a while to understandc wh the ell a maxi pad or wonder wiong or whatever funny names these tampons have.....
Hey man ,
I have joined the GYM :=). Tell me how can in get 6 pack in 2 months :=(.
well Maxi pad is something which girls wear during bad in order to avoid blood-shed :lol: Am i right ?