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Jealousy?


Hiya A question to the guys, would you ever let your wife chat (in msn) to other guys as friends? Like for instance, her colleagues and ex-classmates?
emadullah
its depends on that girl..what kinda of relationship she has with that chatmates or ex classmates...its limited to just chat or something else too...
i would not allow my wife to keep any relationship not even talk/see other guy....its not becoz i m jealousy but its becoz i dont trust other guy...not becoz i dont trust my own wife..
thats it :) (: ajoy by all means... chatting is no cheating.. XRW-147 Come on, friends are friends. If you are so worried she's going to run off with someone else, or that something will happen between them then there is no trust - just insecurities. How can you build trust in a relationship when you can't show it? Just because a girl becomes ur girlfriend or wife doesn't mean she has to leave the rest of her life behind - unless u're never going to befriend another female for the rest of the time you are together. emadullah
u r right trust is must in relationship... frankly, i dont like to have any female friends at all.....so so so..but i m not possessive.
i told its depends upon wat type of relation she has with that chat mates...in chat room we can find only cheaters not true (guy) friends. XRW-147 But thats a different story ain't it? We're talking about colleagues and ex-classmates. Besides I don't really look at friends as male or female... I just class everyone I meet as people - regardless of skin colour, race, religion, or gender. There's no point limiting your friendship to certain demographics, cause with each person you gain/learn something and that adds value to your own life. emadullah
chating/meeting with ex classmates are ok but upto a certain limit.
anyway XRW are u male or female ? XRW-147 Would you set this limit or leave it to your partner's judgement? Now why do you suppose people call me Mr X? - apart from disliking numbers! emadullah
offcourse i would set this limit on the basis of my gf/wife nature. XRW-147 Why? I thought u trusted ur wife?

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emadullah
setting limit is different ..its not related with trust.. wife is the property of husband... husband is the responsible for wife...thats y in islam man would go for work for wife/child......thats y set the limit b4 u marry a girl XRW-147 You kinda contradict yourself here saying you're not possessive and yet a wife becomes your property, in essence your possession. emadullah
if u seriously love ur wife.then u must take care of her...where she is going..to whom she is meeting...what kinda relationship she has with others...once u are satisfied then leave her to live her life...hope its clear to u now... XRW-147 Arranged marriages aside, do you not learn what sort of person you are getting married with when you are courting/dating them? Pretty much clear as mud. emadullah
hmmmm wired :P ? XRW-147 Yah, I'm pretty sure theres a loose connection somewhere in there, you might want to take a look at it. emadullah
i wish u come and see where is the problem...pls wil u come here to make it correct ? huh ? shall i wait for u ? emadullah today my bat is low..i could not think with brain thats y i have valued indian brian only USD1. did u see that post ? arniegang
Mr X
is soooooooooo mcuh easier than XRT no XRB blast XRE nope ah XRW
now wot are those numbers? mmmmmmmmmm
nahhhhhhhh Mr X it is then
:lol: :lol: :lol:
XRW-147 Arnie, see now that's one thing you missed out on from the meetup ;) arniegang
i will consulte with my spies 8)
:wink: :wink: GAB
Whoa buddy!! :shock: XRW-147 And he reckons he's not possessive :lol: GAB When a guy says that or even thinks that there should be a light bulb moment for the woman. Don't marry a man that thinks THAT!! yshimy
MAN,
Don't make assumptions and state them as facts. Islam didn't state that the wife is the property of the Husband.
Oh, you might get confused. Did you mean "The Car" ????? Chocoholic
Emadullah, sorry to say but this kind of attitude just smacks of being possessive, distrustful and wanting to control everything a woman does. Just because she is married to you does not mean you take over her life. If she decides to chat to other people men or not, then it's none of your business. Suppose she wanted to know everything you do? Where you are, what you're doing, who you're with 24/7? It would get pretty annoying.
Taking care of someone does not mean you control their life. And it has nothing to do with whether you are satisfied or not. If you truly love someone then you trust them with their own judgment, it's not yours to make. I'd leave any man in a second if he did the things you're suggesting. yshimy Man, If you can't trust your woman to make her own judgment about the people she chat with and go out with, then i think you shouldn't marry her and found you another wife. Yes, our ladies we do protect, but in the same time they are no kids, they are no stupid. I think you need to revisit your definition of trust.... or you will have a very bad suspicious life after marriage. cheers Chocoholic Well said Yshimy! GAB :D Yeah yshimy!! :D lenny What about texting and should you tell your partner about what you are chatting about ie that you are kinda flirting so nothing happens in the future if they find out :shock: lenny All on line gone quite any one feeling guilty??? Chocoholic Nah, no big deal. If you're not doing anything wrong then you've nothing to worry about. I think everyone sends flirty sms's between friends every now and again, there's no harm in it. And you can be open with your other half about it. He gets texts from his girl friends just as I get or send cheeky messages to my guy friends - so what. lenny and what if your other side did it and you caught them GAB Sorry-that is a big deal- a big no-no!! lenny what do you mean GABs you seem to be for before lenny so GAB your partner knows what you chat about on line does he??? GAB I know some of these people (and their partners) quite well!! Anyway- a joke is a joke, true flirting (with intent of getting something in the long run) is a no-no. lenny But you didnt answer the question does your partner know and what would he do if he found out PS I agree with your comments though in some ways Chocoholic Ok I mean more cheeky than flirty. What if I find out - he shows me the messages others send, we do it to our friends and they to us. Things can be cheeky and flirty without any other intention behind it, but there is a line and so long as you don't cross it then I think it's fine. Mind you some of the messages I get from male friends are just down right dirty, but we all know it's meant in fun and that's the key. Everyone knows everyone else, if there's something going on then there's no way a party could hide it. GAB Agree, with choco.Yes, he knows but he thinks it is all just cr@p. If he had a problem with it, accepting phone calls from friends on here and going to meets would be a big hassle. He is a bigger person than that and knows what is real and what is just a joke. He has the same kind of twisted sense of humour. lenny GAB you say he knows but does he know the content have seen the choc thing and that have to say he seems cool if he knows about that more than likely he would be ok with by the sounds of it anyway but sounds like he doesnt know the content on what you chat about GAB The whole choc thing is a joke apart from the fact I do like chocolate and desserts, but my guess is you figured that out. I do know for a fact Arnie does not own that tractor in that picture and I strongly suspect that he didn't actually make any of those cakes for me but he just downloaded them from the net (cheapskate :lol: :lol: ). He is quite welcome to read all of it and my pm's- maybe he does-he knows my p/w and everything goes through his email address. I've known my husband probably longer than you've been alive so he knows me. He actually sent me this and asked if I would sign it :shock: :roll: :roll: :roll: yeah, as if!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: lenny he seems a with it type of person but I would say that he trusts you fully and wouldnt bother to check what you are doing what if he was chatting or texting or what ever would you check and if you found he was doing the same what would you do???.i agree that what is being done on here is clean fun but this bringing this up to gauge peoples responce GAB I'd Bobbitize him :lol: :lol: :lol: Removal of apendage is the only answer. lenny still you are skirting around the issue obviously he thinks its is just general stuff you are talking about not about what you would do for chocs etc and sounds like if he did it he would be in trouble :? GAB Trouble-errr, no, I don't think so. He has a very funny sense of humour, hence the contract- "can you sign this honey" -yeah, as if!! :shock: :shock: I am sure he does and takes it in the light is intended. I wouldn't do anything for chocolate-that was a joke and you know it!! Let's take everything I say word for word then. That would also mean I am 75 and wear birkenstocks with tights and a tweed skirt...in this climate!! :shock: I can't wear tights and a tweed skirt, I wear white knee-highs with my birkies and a 100% cotton A-line skirt-do you think I am crazy? I'd boil to death otherwise! :shock: :shock: Sensible dressing at all times. Yeah, right!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: kanelli The flirting going on on this forum has just been play flirting. I mean, we are talking about posting pictures of chocolate, tractors, and nothing explicitly sexual has been mentioned. As well, I've met most of the people doing the flirting, and they didn't flirt with each other when together in person. Sending a flirting sms messages is another matter altogether! Of course, you need to know the people involved and their how their friendship works, but I most certainly would not like it if my husband was getting messages in the day from a female friend who was flirting with him. None of my male friends have ever flirted with me by sms because they know me and know I like my friendships with men to be the same as with a woman (okay, minus the shopping excursions :P). Maybe I'm just too square - but it suits me just fine and my husband never needs to feel jealous. GAB Agree with you K. Sms I think is a no go zone. Everyone here is on the same page and knowing everyone involved is a huge advantage. Also you are not square!! :lol: :lol: You'll make people think you look like my avatar!! So let's go shopping, K!! I need some new birkies and you are the expert!! :P :P :wink: :wink: lenny Sorry what I meant to say was if he was doing the same how would you take it and you still have not said if you have shown him the choc thing etc kanelli I showed my hubby the whole chocolate and tractor business. He thought we were all major computer geeks. :lol: p.s. GAB, I know exactly the place to take you for nice cheap Birks. All the super cool models we need to order online though :P GAB I would be mortified if he offered to take someone for a ride in his tractor! Basically because as far as I know he doesn't own one. :shock: Agree with you K. My husband just thinks it is all a load of twaddle and thinks it is geeky....actually he thinks that about alot of things I do!! :? Sorry to say lenny, but he really isn't that fussed. Pretty laid back, he is. lenny I give up I dont think you have shown him but doesnt matter I hope it never causes you an issue GAB He's not interested. Simple. Our last posting I used to post on the expat board and formed a playgroup for my kids, met some great girls, went to nights out (mixed gender and girls nights out) and he really doesn't care-I type in front of him, drag him to read some posts occasionally but he doesn't care-he's just not fussed. I joke like this when we are out with friends- he doesn't care. A joke is a joke and he knows when I am serious and when I am just being arsy. I asked him to come to the meet with me but he has work the next day....he jokes that I was out til all hours with strangers doing who knows what.......... :lol: I don't have to ask permission to go out and I don't have a curfew. I guess my husband knows me well enough-I have known him a long time and we've been married a long time-he says it has been a living hell. :lol: arniegang lenny i think you have laboured your point enough. This is a "public" forum / message board and most of us have a public laugh. Its that simple GAB Oh, and I was waiting for DHL to deliver my chocs. Spolisport! :lol: :P lenny As I said I give up sorry for hitting a nerve GAB will still send if you want arniegang
:P :P :P kanelli
If you disapprove of GAB and her behaviour just come out and say it. I doubt she'd care, but at least you'd be being direct, not beating around the bush. Her husband doesn't care, neither does mine. Arniegang's wife doesn't pay attention to forum life either. It is usually the case that one person is active on the board and their spouse doesn't bother - they just come out to the meets. Not everyone is interested in online communities, and not everyone distrusts their spouse. arniegang Well said K In fact, in my case apart from one exception, i would get my wife to speak to the "other forumer" this ensures there is no inpropriety and all is above board. Lenny, you are trying to make out something that is in your imagination, all of us on here who know each other and their respective partners are more than comfortable with the situation on DF and in "real life". My friends on here know me and how i am, i am comfortable with that. as i know likewise. You can summise all you like. End of........ HP
I think mrs arnigang is seriously thinking about going at court against duabiforums. She has to watch desperate housewives when her husband is online ! :oops:
daddy why do u not let our mom to comeonline ,so we can find it out how irritating u are at home :P cadmus Hey, lenny everyone here knows that it was only a joke.....i wont give neone my meadeath collection for anythin :lol: sniper420
mmmm Can u start a thread abt ur life expereinces? I bet it would be spicy GAB Yep!! You're right K!! :lol: :lol:

Cadmus-I am bitterly disappointed, I thought you were serious!! I am so miffed!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Lenny- no nerve hit, not fussed! :D emadullah
i did not say that it is said by islam or its islamic view ...ok ?
anyway i cant rite much ...i m so busy now a days cadmus
hey Gab, u can always borrow it. i was serious about cake though :wink: GAB :oops: Aaawwww! You are sweet! :D cadmus :oops: :oops: :oops: uaeaussie Hi I have this friend who is wondering what is going on with his wife. She is chatting on line with different people and has been doing strange things. He has told me that he has noticed her deleting her call log and messages on her phone on a nightly basis. He has also noticed that she is deleting history sections on the computer but after checking on a virus he found that she is spending a massive amount of time on the chat site. It seems on what he has said he read just to be banter but again you know us men were a strange lot and things play on our minds, I told him it is nothing and she wouldn’t be up to anything but he is fully stressed out that something is going on. I have seen past posts and the following banter on this site so I was wondering what everyone’s view is on this. He is afraid if he brings it up that it may blow up in his face as either she will feel that he doesn’t trust her if she is not up to anything or he may lose her. He also likes her to enjoy herself and if it is nothing she may stop doing what she enjoys which would devastate him (could almost write a novel on this). I reckon this will get a huge response as most people seem to think that people in a relationship should trust each other. I know he does but after finding out these things it has put doubt in his mind. What does everyone think. Sad thing is I have never seen a happier couple before. As iam not in an relationship I cant really help that much as I have not had any real experience when it comes to this kanelli Well, if she is deleting her tracks, I am guessing she is definitely up to something. Your friend has every right to confront his wife. kanelli The only thing is that he should also be prepared to answer for any track deleting that he does on his own, if he does any. For example, many men view pornography sites and then delete their tracks so that their wife doesn't find out. This doesn't discount the fact that she is likely up to something, but two wrongs don't make a right. Chocoholic Have to disagree. My boyf deletes his call logs and messages, but makes it obvious to me he's doing it, so I know about it. I do the same, purely so my phone doesn't get clogged with stuff. If your friend confronts his wife, he better have a damn good explanation as to why he's been snooping. That will totally blow up in his face. She will feel he doesn't trust her and has been keeping track of her. And trust me she will never, never let him forget it! Many people spend ages online, have you seen how much some people are addicted to this forum? In this day and age, it's normal. But if he is going to approach her about it, then he better be careful. kanelli Chocoholic, there is no need for someone to clean out their call logs and message logs every day unless they have a very busy phone life. Of course, you need to know your partner's habits - if they have always tidied their phone and the behaviour isn't different, then likely there isn't anything to worry about. If this guy's wife is behaving differently, erasing her computer records after every time she uses the computer, and erasing phone and message logs frequently - I'd say she is trying to cover something up. Again, only this guy knows whether his wife's behaviour has changed or not. Kama
and what makes you think that it is down to any "guy" who his wife chats to...?
Maybe she would like to have cyber$ex with some cute american and if she wants to...why not...?
(edited by SNIPER420) uaeaussie thanks for the replies was hoping to get more input i think i will let him sort it out without providing any input.as far as i know he is not the fooling around type but has stressed him to the max kanelli Kama, not everyone has an open marriage, and not everyone needs to sleep with whatever good looking person they see somewhere. Some people appreciate monogamy, but I realise that there are others out there who don't... kanelli ADMINS, I really hate that s.e.x is converted to "fun"on this forum. How am I supposed to know if Kama meant s.e.x or fun? sniper420
now u know what she meant.. only for u...kanelli Kama
The real issue is should any "boyfriend" or "husband" be controlling who his "girl" is talking to...?
You can't make someone "monogamous" by controlling who they speak to... If they want to be monogamous they will and if they don't want to nobody should be forcing them to keep the appearance of monogamy...
That is not appreciating monogamy but just "faking it"... kanelli Of course, people should be able to talk to whoever they want to. However, if you marry someone and pledge to be faithful to them alone, then go onto a chat site and start an intimate relationship with another man and receive sms messages from that other man and meet him in person etc. - that is breaking your vows. If a married couple agrees that they can have relationships with other people - an open marriage - then that is another story. We are just speculating about this guy's wife. She might just be talking on a chat site with online friends, but then she might also be starting a relationship with someone other than her husband. If the husband is concerned he has every right to discuss with his wife, especially if her behaviour has really changed and she is being secretive. I've seen your site Kama, and respect your own choices. If you are married to your gods and will not marry a mortal man, that is fine, but you also have to respect that many women choose to marry mortal men and vow to be monogamous. uaeaussie Kanelli I totally agree with you there is a way to chat on line and there is a wrong way as well If the wife or hubby is aware of what is being talked about ie just mucking around etc then it is fine if either though is trying to hide it then it is arniegang
K
This Kama's site is a load of bollox. It is just a different slant on trading her wares in the oldest profession in the book, ie prostitution.
I am not disputing the concept of her beliefs, i just believe it is there to be different to all the other "toms", in gaining extra or different business in terms of what the "clients" think they will get.
I wouldn't take any of hers posts seriously at all.
This is backed up by the only 2 so say "reports" on her site of her ability to give her clients "something different" when having to pay for a shag.
All this married to my god and not ordinary mortals crap is just a marketing ploy basically to make the punters think they are getting to shag some kind of godess. sniper420
hehehe we all know that. :) kanelli I was bitten by the naive bug :oops: I guess. arniegang I am older, wiser ( :wink: ) and have probably experienced a less sheltered life K :wink: :wink: uaeaussie What has happened to the normal carry one between sniper arnie gabs etc all seems to have gone very quite you havent had a tiff have you???? GAB A tiff? :lol: :lol: :lol: Always fighting with Sniper tho'!! :lol: :lol: No, just been really busy and overloaded with family and what is meant to be rewarding work -the driving to and from is time consuming and a real pain-get heart palpations going down the Sheikh :shock: :shock: -also did a bit of the Jumeirah Jane bit last week, you know the hair, the nails etc :lol: :lol: uaeaussie Oh so you into the j Jane thing what about massages Iam great at them if you ever want one hehehehe :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: arniegang lol The Dubai Forums Entertainment Dept will resume normal service in due course :lol: :lol: uaeaussie great was starting to get boring GAB :lol: Get plenty of massages at home thanks all the same! :lol: :lol: Finding it hard to keep track of posts now-feel, sadly, left out of the loop!! :cry: uaeaussie oh well always worth a try uaeaussie GAB not even a small massage :D :D :D :D GAB Not even miniscule, darl! :lol: :lol: Talldiva i do chat a lot on MSN and my hubby does not mind. Dubai Knight
He likes to watch? Hmmmm....not so innocent after all!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Knight



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