asc_26
You wake up one day and realize that you don’t want the relationship anymore. How are you going to call it
QUITS without hurting your significant others? Is there any perfect timing for that? Or you will hold on to the relationship and let it die naturally. Have your say.
^ian^
First you have to ask yourself do you really want to call it quits, or perhaps you're just being moody?
Is the relationship going anywhere? If so, why call it quits? If not, why not?
What are the underlying issues? Is there love? Have you just gone cold on the person? Is there a connection?
Many a good relationship has come to an end due to irrationality.
The heart sends out all kinds of messages, it's up to the head to interpret them and get it right.
MERLOT
Well my fella dumped me on Monday, after a 3 month chase, and 3 months full on, completely overwhelmed with his emotions, seriousness, intensity, together most days/nights etc... he's wobbled a bit during that time (commitment issues etc).
But, anyway the point is we had a great sunday, arranged to meet up monday evening, he never turned up, no call, no nothing.... effectively he's disappeared. But the idiots a member of the same health club as me.
I've texted him to ask what's going on, but no answer.
bushra21
maybe he just needs some space....or is busy....
and you guys slept together already and it has only been three months? thats smart :roll:
asc_26
- MERLOT wrote:
Well my fella dumped me on Monday, after a 3 month chase, and 3 months full on, completely overwhelmed with his emotions, seriousness, intensity, together most days/nights etc... he's wobbled a bit during that time (commitment issues etc).
But, anyway the point is we had a great sunday, arranged to meet up monday evening, he never turned up, no call, no nothing.... effectively he's disappeared. But the idiots a member of the same health club as me.
I've texted him to ask what's going on, but no answer.
So are you going to call it quits? :wink:
asc_26
- ^ian^ wrote:
First you have to ask yourself do you really want to call it quits, or perhaps you're just being moody?
Is the relationship going anywhere? If so, why call it quits? If not, why not?
What are the underlying issues? Is there love? Have you just gone cold on the person? Is there a connection?
Many a good relationship has come to an end due to irrationality.
The heart sends out all kinds of messages, it's up to the head to interpret them and get it right.
After all the discernment, assessment and etc...for you, it is really over and the person didn't do anything wrong & still care about you. You just fall out love. :( Now, how are you going to call it QUITS?
You seem so experience. :wink:
zam
Well in my opinion if you really are convinced that you dont love him/her anymore then its time to sit down and talk about this.
You cant avoid hurting your partner on this one. But its better to do it earlier than continue the relationship if you dont want to. It would be unfair for you and for your partner.
Break up is always nasty :roll:
MERLOT
Thanks for all the responses, but sure it's hurting, he wanted space last week, but came running after me. So I went back, we had a talk, spent time together and then he never turned up on Monday. Saw him at the health club last night exchanged pleasantrys and then he cleared off quickly.
He's 43 and I'm 40, he's got a bit of a track record of short relationships, max 18 months and he's a CEO. I'm small fish in comparison and just had a couple of long term relationships. He's wobbled a few times through the three months and in the end the uncertainity gets a little too much.
Who knows what's happening, crystal ball would be handy. Why a fella can't even commit to dumping you by text, I don't know, it's not that difficult and at least it is the end. But some fellas can't even commit to that.
My take is, if he's interested he knows where I am, but whether I would go back so easily that's a different question.
the_zooter
- bushra21 wrote:
and you guys slept together already and it has only been three months? thats smart :roll:
Each to their own. I wouldn't judge others by your standards - to others this is probably perfectly normal.
bushra21
your right zoots.
sorry about that.
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asc_26
- MERLOT wrote:
Thanks for all the responses, but sure it's hurting, he wanted space last week, but came running after me. He's 43 and I'm 40, he's got a bit of a track record of short relationships, max 18 months and he's a CEO. ...My take is, if he's interested he knows where I am, but whether I would go back so easily that's a different question.
Thanks for opening up. Most of the ladies or even men reading your post can well understand your situation or perhaps in the same situation as yours.
It is quite easy to start a relationship, get hook with each other, fall deeply & madly in love but to call it quits is the hardest thing to do. I presume the CEO doesn’t know how to handle such situation. (Guys and veterans of DF have your say) I am surprise you are both in 40’s.
It really happens to everyone. Some would just runaway without even saying “I am leaving you now”, and worst he keeps you hanging. Please don’t get me wrong here; I would like to ask you this question. Did you ever assess your relationship with him? I mean the kind or quality of relationship you have with him. Or maybe he only wants a companion for a short period of time or something like that, but not a long-term relationship.
Most guys I know don’t have the guts to call it quits, because they don’t want to hurt their partner but they start to act strange towards their partner. Now, it is the job of the women to comprehend them and for women to finally call it quits. But it turns sour. That’s why I asked, how to call it quits?
MERLOT
He talked about the future alot, how he wanted to settle down and have kids. He was really keen on it. The emails he sent me where the full monty. But he also said he was crap at relationships and how hard he was trying to make it work.
He didn't seem to trust women, thinking they'd clear off and have an affair. Most of his girlfriends seemed to have done that, but I think this was because he pissed them off so much or they may not have been particularly faithful people.
Bizarrly he claims that I was the first girl he'd ever asked out. He gets approached a lot by women, so he says and if your not bothered about something serious, I guess men just go with the flow if all seems okay. Says although he has many dates but he doesn't necessarily get involved emotionally because he doesn't want to lose control.
Here's a question for you fella's. Why would a man resist 'coming'. Is it a control thing.
asc_26
- MERLOT wrote:
Here's a question for you fella's. Why would a man resist 'coming'. Is it a control thing.
I think he's only good at talking about the future, but deep inside he's a coward afraid of commitments. Are you still going to keep that man if he comes back?
Men, Could you please answer her question? :wink:
sniper420
- asc_26 wrote:
- MERLOT wrote:
Here's a question for you fella's. Why would a man resist 'coming'. Is it a control thing.
I think he's only good at talking about the future, but deep inside he's a coward afraid of commitments. Are you still going to keep that man if he comes back?
Men, Could you please her question? :wink:
I call this a "yo-yo" relationship........ where both of them are at risk......if one of the partner is emotionally unstable thenit affects other.......a man who has been involved in many other relationship will find it very hard to make commitmnet to one hole .... so u betta b careful, if u want ur future to b secure and ur the type who wants to settle down either domisticate him or dump him. trust me i have been domisticated it was very hard........*no emoticon to express my emotions*
luvfeet
you can call it : love pause button
click again to turn it on :lol:
asc_26
- luvfeet wrote:
you can call it : love pause button
click again to turn it on :lol:
ohh..i didn't know there's an off and on love button. gosh..im slow tonight :twisted:
noni
It is so much better just to be open about things....the more you put off breaking up with someone the more it will hurt the other person. Just get the courage and do it..you are much better off being straightfoward.
zam
I second to noni :wink: