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Dillema - western man and arabic women...


yuppie this may be contraversial as hell but wtf... im western and have basically dated arabic women all my life which has been awesome but to be honest problematic...not least cos while their mothers generally love me their fathers/brothers/cousins etc are generally sharpening the kebab knives... is dating arabic women just doomed to failure if u happen to be western?? and im not talking the whole christian/muslim thing but general mindsets? im guessin u guys in dubai will know a little somethin bout this! any suggestions/comments seriously appreciated!
smartd you can make anything work if you try. Cheers, D kanelli Well, I have no clue why you only date Arab women - it sounds really superficial if you only want to date women with a certain look or certain background. It really depends on the family and how religious they and the woman are. As you know, it isn't permitted for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man. If the family doesn't care about this or the fact that you are non-Arab, then the situation is no different from any other woman. Her family will like you or dislike you based on your personality and how you treat your girlfriend. In general, multi-cultural relationships are a bit more of a challenge because you both come from different backgrounds - which affects you viewpoints on issues and affects communication too. Still, there is no reason why multi-cultural relationships can't work. yuppie shallow?? moi?? maybe hehe. nah i have dated other nationalities and westerners etc, just been lving in the ME for so long and in places like Syria and Lebanon, just a situational thing i guess...reason im asking is that on two occasions i was very close to a ME woman and just when things seemed to be going right some cultural impasse would open up. sod it, not very good at explaining stuff on these forum things...but cheers kanelli for the insight! fayz Hahahahaha, Don’t let Kanelli get on you, I hear she only marries tall blond men and I think that is superficial and shallow. :lol: :lol: I’ve had the privilege of dating people from many walks of life and you can make things work if the commitment and motivation is there. I have a friend, a pork eating Christian married to an abaya glad muslima and they make it work. Love conquers all is not just a saying it is reality just make sure the foundation is there (be honest with yourself) and you can overcome anything. Good luck. arniegang
You are testing K to the max there Fayz
:lol: :lol: :lol: alexandra
western man and arabic women???? i think it's not the happiest choice. From my knowledge arabic muslim women r almost untouchable for non muslim men. i heared about bad endings, where the girl's family will make her life imposible and for them it's a big shame to be PERSONA NON GRATA for the family. they r raised up with the principle that family is the most important, they have to show obedince ( not slavishly, but still obedience) to the father and so on to the husband. if she will choose u , she will choose to go against her religion, that specifies that for a muslim woman is not allowed to get married with a non muslim man.... and than the men from her fam. will sharp the kebab knives for u!from here u can imagine what will be heappened. from my knowledge also real muslim women r not the dating type, they dont go out with men and for sure the concept of bf is banned from their vocabulary. i might be wrong , but this is from what i know. still u have to keep in mind that the difference of culture, religion, values, etc will have a great effect on the relationship IF she will agree to choose u! good luck! kanelli Yuppie, you said before that you are from the UK, so I incorrectly assumed that you were living there most of the time. Of course it makes sense that you date mostly Arab women if you have been living in the Middle East. Fayz, kiss my back bacon :twisted: :lol: Liban In many, oh so many cases, if a Muslim woman does marry a non-Muslim, she is shunned by her family... I knew one Lebanese Sunni girl who married this Catholic guy and her father dis-owned her... GoodBai Why? Sorry, but I just don't understand this. It's surely better to judge individuals on their merit and not whether they follow a particular creed. To me it just seems narrow-minded to shun a member of your own family because they happen to fall for someone outside of their own religion. A little tolerance and understanding can go a long way.

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fayz
Sorry bacon doesn't come close to my lips :lol: Douce`Amere
You don`t understand it cuz you underestimate the role of faith & religion. It`s common for Westerns. For a moslem person, religion penetrate into all the spheres of life, pattern all from outside. Islam has a meaning of devotion to God, & the role of love relationships & of any other thing could happen in this life is secondary. A moslem woman should marry only moslem man to raise moslem children, & this is so far from being narrow-minded: this is her devotion to God & her jihad. Defo I do know some Arabic girls with families who are quite western modernated. So, in other ways, some arabic girls are allowed to marry to western man, but ofcourse all dependz on how the family is looking at religion etc. Corcovado
well you are so wrong .. i am a muslim arab woman... and i date non muslims and western men ... its not the way u think arab muslims are not BEN LADEN dear ..they are open to other nationalities ...and religions i mean my aunt marriend a greek christian and they are fine ... i am dating a non muslim indian and i dont mind or my family.. its about the personality and the person full stop. :evil: fayz What an ARAB and an INDIAN, now i've heard of everything :lol: :lol: Corcovado
yeah yeah u live and u learn .. u should see us we are like aliens :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: but we are trying :lol: :lol: hehehe alexandra
well dear it seems like u did not read my post carefully enough or u just didn't get my point.
as u can see in my reply i did not say that muslim are ben laden( i have friends who r muslims), i do not associate islam with terrorists( i am not that stupid), and i do apreciate the values that islam is built on and the real muslims who follow and respect their principles:so no need for u to get defensive for i did not say anything bad about u or ur sisters in islam, quite opposite i have a great respect and admiration for this women who r so devoted to religion and their families. also i did not say it'a imposible for a western man and muslim woman, all i saied was that it's a gap caused by difference of culture, religion and tradiotions, hard to win but not impossible. i have a friend, her name is amira and she is a student here in my country. she is a great girl, not going out with boys or going to party in clubs. she saied that she wants to be only for the one who will be her husband not to date lots of men, and i think it's so great the way she thinks, and i respect her for that strenght she has. u shouldn't be so in hurry to judge me before understanding what i wrote, but it's ur option anyway!
and as i saied in the first post, i might be wrong about what i saied but it's a personal opinion, no ofense! :) Corcovado
not taken of course... i am sorry if i seemed defensive but i want people to understand that being arab or muslim or whatever doesnt change a thing u are what u are as a person ... there is one god for human kind doesnt matter if u pray in church ,musk ,or temple .... when we understand that life will be easier :wink: alexandra i agree with u about the fact that each individual should learn how to respect others values and beliefs. we dont have the right to claim tolerance if we make war in the name of peace, cause to be respected u must respect! and if i may add also another point of view, i stronglybelieve that the image and concept of islam has been seriouselly damaged by some of the western media( unfortunatelly) and by poeple that don't even bother to chek, to read, or at least to get some real and true information about it, they talk but have no idea what they r saing. i feel u and i understood why u were defensive, and u r so right to defend on what is important to u, but i am glad that u got what i wanted to say and that no ofense was taken! :)
raidah ill add smthing to this conversation girls. i have dated just about all kinds of men, except asians. and felt an attraction to arabs, since i was a kid. so nobody could accuse me of being raceist or having prejudices. still, last year when i went on vacations to tunisia, i figured that if i meet an arab man, he will most probably not shake hands with me or give that kiss kiss, that is so common here in europe. so it was a surprise to see how they behave just like us. i made some friends and we talked and still do. and i realised that accepting smbody from a different religion in ur family its basicaly up to how strickly u take ur religion. if whatever my religion is i considere that human kindness is the most important, than ill be able to accept the other without wanting to change him. Intimacy
Muslim do believe in all the prophets (jesus and Abraham and all the others). as muslim men they r allowed to maryy a chistisan or a jew (people of the book). but that doesnt mean that she should become a muslim. in families.. normally the women follows the man.. and here the man who believes in jesus and others would lead.. but the woman doesnt believe in Muhammad or the rest.. and they r many other issues as well which has a lot of sense at least to me :)
But thanks Douce`Amere for the good info :) that was nice of u Dacus I think that is a better choice for an Arabic woman to marry an western man that an western woman to marry an Arabic man. As I know the Arabic men treat women like a second hand people! raidah well, lots of europeans beat their wifes to death...u don t need to be an arab for that. so its the person not the nation that decides ones character. Dacus Good people and bad people are all over in the world. But I meant to say that Arabic women have a second hand statue in Arabic world. As an example, if a family have visitors the woman goes to kitchen. There are a lot of this negative examples! Douce`Amere
The topic here is a moslem woman & non moslem man that is forbidden but not the reverse /a moslem man & non muslim woman/, & it`s not about being socialized with ppl of other religions & being nice & kind to them. GoodBai, Intimacy I didn`t get where I`m wrong. Religion & the ways & levels to follow it is a personal choice, & I believe that to be a true moslem, to follow the Holy Qur`an is a blessing. Here, my reflections on this question derive from most or islamic origins, & I don`t accept anyone to tell me its wrong. From my side, I`m absolutely convinced I should marry a moslem man, & I don`t consider myself narrow-minded. Douce`Amere
I can give you lots of negative examples about women of your country. But you know, the measure of a mental health is an ability to find good in everything, not the reverse. I`m getting annoyed to read your stupid posts about a subject you know nothing about. raidah
the guy is a racist a..whole, with all kinds of prejudicies. he told me today to drop dead because he didn t like where im from....can u believe this? Intimacy
Well.. with all respect .. you are soooo wrong. maybe that applies on a case out of 10,000 case.. but i have seen westreners treat women like sh@t.
I dont know how did u come up with that conclusion yet.. but i dont know also how you you know the kind of relationships arab people have with their own wives.
The only thing i could see thru all the people around me is that they treat their wives and their wives' families with very good respect. please DONT take dubai as an example... Dubai corrupts people.
Socities here use to neglect a man who treats his woman with no respect..
even the westreners who use to go inside our houses or eve to the bedwin socity got back with a very positive influance that they dont even had in their own life. not because they r bad... but they never heared about such things.
Good treatment & Love for me at least is not a kiss a man would give for his wife in public to prove to the people who much he loves her.... but its how much he is there to support her.. and their kids.. and also to support both sides families... emotionally and financially.. Douce`Amere
:shock: :shock: :shock: ...but yeah, I can believe he said so. Intimacy
Verry true.. although the nation helps ;) Intimacy
Dear DA.. :)
ok.. maybe i didnt make my words clear the other day.. so please bare with me :)
What i meant is.. there is nothing wrong of what u said.. in islam and as a muslim.. we have been to respect other people and cultures exactly at the same way we have been order to pray and fast...etc. so you are not wrong with that dear :)
i was just trying to say that as a muslim man.. you can marry only a woman who is considered to be as one of the people of the book (Muslim, chris. or a jew) but not other.. since people of the book believe in God.
as a muslim we believe in all the prophets (Jesus and Ibraham) and since the man leads normally :)... the family goes after him. so thats why a muslim woman cant marry a non muslim man because he doesnt believe in muhammad :) and subsequently the entire family and the muslim girl will lose her faith.
thats all dear :). please let me know if there is something unclear for you. Intimacy
Brilllient :) raidah
yeah i guess. but than the best and most moral thing one can do is not to judge smbody without having talked with that person, regardless what nation he belongs to.
and regarding nations...its always the product of history and timeing who the bad guys r. nowadays its on fashion hating arabs, all of them, because of the terrorism. but we forget that only a small procentage has anything to do with that, and we also forget that there was a naczi germany, a communist soviet union, we forget that almost all native americans were exterminated by imigrants, that black were kept in slavery and i could go on. should we hate all those who belong to a nation that made a smaller or bigger mistake during history? of course not.
anyway, i will never understand as long as i live how can ppl hate and kill and hate each other over nothing. oldhippie you can't be serious :? and do you consider your case the norm or an extremely rare one? Liban
Rare exception in this case. Douce`Amere
:wink: Sara1983 There're many arabs these days who're married to English & also local women's from the UAE who are married to foreigners! So it isn't always doomed to failure!! terranova
a good friend of mine (pakistani) got married to a lebanese girl two years back in ottawa.
lemme tell you it was the weirdest series of events ever. they literally had to elope and her family showed up at his house threatening to burn it down. the police got involved and patched things up a little
when they finally had a reception, most of the pakistani men boycotted it after the bride's sister walked her in wearing a mini-skirt and holding the quran..
i for sure thought someone's going to get shot :shock: XRW-147
Now one would have thought they would be too busy staring and drooling.

Doesn't sound much like a girl's dream wedding at all. Hope they're at least living the happily ever after part. terranova well, she wasn't much to look at anyways.. frankly i was offended that she was wearing a mini... spoilt the wedding for me :? and yes, they are very happy together and the family is all reconciled. Liban
It is quite offensive to hold the Quran and wear something like that. I mean if you don't respect yourself when holding something holy then respect God at least!!!



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