169 Reasons To

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169 Reasons to Apr 03, 2005
Ask me out:

1. If you let me take you to dinner, you get free food.
2. I give good back rubs.
3. I'm a good listener.
4. It's more fun than hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
5. I have no communicable diseases.
6. You might actually enjoy it.
7. I always resist the urge to poke sharp objects into my ear on the first date.
8. As of yet, I have never overlooked the importance of regular, continuous breathing.
9. I can usually eat spaghetti without getting sauce on my shirt.
10. My shoelaces are hardly ever untied.
11. I only tie women up and spank them when they ask me to.
12. Cats seem to like me.
13. I give foot rubs when asked.
14. I'm really a nice person once you get to know me.
15. You've probably never gone out with a man who wears skirts.
16. I am an accomplished TV-avoider.
17. I like to fly kites.
18. I can sympathize with you about how high-heeled shoes feel.
19. I seldom pick a fight with inanimate objects.
20. I feel that reading a good book is an excellent way to spend time.
21. Unlike Vincent van Gogh, I would never cut off my ear for a woman.
22. I feel that a relationship can exist without sex if it needs to.
23. You'll forever wonder what you're missing if you don't date me.
24. I enjoy brushing a woman's hair.
25. I take a bath at least once a day.
26. I'm housebroken.
27. As hard as it may to believe, I have never lost a pole-vault competition.
28. I am heterosexual.
29. I have never committed a violent crime.
30. I do not make fun of Boutros-Boutros Ghali's name unnecessarily.
31. You haven't had a sufficient dose of strangeness in your life.
32. I believe the rabbit should be given some Trix.
33. If you don't like it, I promise to give you a full refund.
34. I do my own laundry.
35. So far, I have managed to not decapitate myself.
36. The voices in my head told me you would like me.
37. I do not drink and drive. (At least not alcohol. Dr. Pepper, maybe.)
38. You'll never get a collect call from me.
39. It will be a life-enriching experience.
40. There is a refreshing absence of monsters under my bed lately.
41. I would give up my appendix for the right woman.
42. There's no compelling reason why you shouldn't.
43. I can change a flat tire.
44. I'm smarter than the average bear.
45. I promise to spend very little of our time together staring at other women.
46. I'm getting fewer and fewer "ice-cream headaches".
47. I am trustworthy.
48. I am loyal.
49. I am helpful.
50. I am friendly.
51. I am courteous.
52. I am kind.
53. I am obedient.
54. I am cheerful.
55. I understand the difference between their, there, and they're.
56. I am thrifty.
57. I am brave.
58. I am clean.
59. I am reverent.
60. I'll supply the chocolate chip cookies.
61. I have never gambled away a girlfriend in Las Vegas.
62. I have no plans to give the Pope a wedgie.
63. I have never been a telemarketer.
64. I can leap tall housecats in a single bound.
65. I check the expiration date on my milk carton.
66. I usually remember to take the shell off an egg before eating it.
67. We are of opposite genders in the same species.
68. Extensive research has proven that I am, indeed, a carbon based life form.
69. I am hardly ever referred to as 'infernal'.
70. I use my seat belt.
71. I'm no worse than most other men, and maybe better than some.
72. It would make me smile.
73. I subscribe to the theory that the world is round.
74. I have a pulse.
75. I have never committed bestiality.
76. I make a concentrated effort not to spit when I talk.
77. I always drown my campfires before leaving the campsite.
78. Rarely do I take candy from strangers.
79. I keep my fingernails clean and trimmed.
80. I seldom pick up hitch-hikers.
81. I recognize Xenon as a noble gas.
82. I know how to perform the Heimlich Maneuver.
83. I have never stopped to think and forgotten to start again.
84. I am cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
85. I'm cuddly.
86. Never have I failed a quest given me by a King.
87. I watch closely when stepping onto an escalator.
88. I have not yet capsized a canoe.
89. I am fully functional.
90. I have a current safety inspection on my car.
91. I try to help the sane adjust to reality.
92. I am not responsible for the misuse of gravity.
93. I practice random kindness.
94. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life.
95. I am understanding.
96. I'm an accomplice at sneaking snacks into movies.
97. I always make sure I have sufficient personal flotation devices aboard any pleasure boat I am using.
98. Occasionally, I have been known to have a clue.
99. I am flexible.
100. When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building, I don't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor
101. I am weird enough for most purposes.
102. I will never have you kidnapped.
103. Rarely do flashing lights mesmerize me for more than 10 minutes.
104. When choosing between two evils, I always try to pick the one I've never done.
105. I lift heavy objects with a straight back and my knees bent.
106. I seldom turn the volume on my stereo up sufficiently to shake the neighbors' walls.
107. I do not suffer from lockjaw (foot-in-mouth disease is another matter).
108. I will administer chocolate whenever you feel the need.
109. As far as I know, I don't snore. (At least, I've never heard myself doing so).
110. I rarely stare directly at the sun.
111. I'm willing to supply cold milk, warm backrubs, and hot baths. In other words: all temperature cheer.
112. I hated Barney before it was cool.
113. I'm the best there is at what I do.
114. I'll try anything 4 or 5 times. It may be an acquired taste.
115. I'm not really obnoxious, just tact-impaired.
116. I don't play records backwards and pretend to hear satanic messages.
117. I am smarter than a computer. I can count past 1.
118. I have an imagination, and I don't mind using it.
119. I occasionally stumble across the truth.
120. I make my bed at least 50% of the time.
121. I don't let friends drive drunk.
122. I only *look* innocent.
123. When I jump into the air, I always remember to come down again.
124. I'm nobody's fool. If you would like me to be yours, just say so.
125. I am new and improved.
126. I have never exceeded the speed limit by more than 4 times.
127. I'll respect you in the morning.
128. I am a recovering celibate.
129. I Endeavour to eschew obfuscation when feasible.
130. I rarely black out for more than a few seconds
131. I can go from 0 to amorous in 3.2 seconds.
132. I usually remember to wear shoes.
133. I have very little trouble remembering where I live.
134. Some people have children to buy toys. I feel it's cheaper and more dignified to cut out the middleman and buy toys for myself.
135. I yield to temptation.
136. I know the difference between a bumblebee and a honeybee.
137. I'm all-natural, no artificial colors or flavors.
138. I have never tried to out-stubborn a cat.
139. I am the culmination of millions of years of random mutations.
140. My passport is current.
141. I have never played leapfrog with a unicorn.
142. I have had all my shots.
143. I donate bodily fluids (blood, platelets, etc…)
144. I'm unique.
145. My life is no more complicated than any cast member on Melrose Place.
146. I have impeccable taste in women.
147. I know the difference between a woofer, a midrange and a tweeter.
148. I'm trying to commit suicide by sexual overdose and I need your help.
149. It's been over a year since I last got my neck tangled in a telephone cord
150. I am (maybe too) open and honest in my relationships.
151. I'm user-friendly.
152. I have never pretended to be an Egyptian deity.
153. I deny reality whenever possible.
154. I always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.
155. I am sensitive.
156. I am not a totally unprincipled rake.
157. I have never tried to float a Volkswagen.
158. I never put off until tomorrow what I can put off indefinitely.
159. I can often hold up my end of a conversation.
160. I have never played an accordion in public.
161. I'm available.
162. Being in a minority, even a minority of one, does not make one insane.
163. I snatch kisses, and vice-versa.
164. I can usually open those pesky jar lids.
165. I am alive, occupying space, and exerting gravitational force.
166. I'm pretty good at logic problems.
167. I own my own body, but I share.
168. I'm not afraid to cry - admittedly it's usually when I hurt myself, but I can build on that.
169. I have vanishingly few homicidal tendencies.

KnightedBear
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Apr 03, 2005
170. You Suck
171. you are a turd burgler
172. you might be gay


i like this post, please continue
Glory
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Is he for real???? Apr 05, 2005
169 ways to waste our time!!! :lol:
Yippy_69
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Apr 06, 2005
haters hahahah that shit was aiite but who was it 4


juss a bunch of haters


i$h
ISH
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Apr 07, 2005
:laughing4: haha
very good, knightedbear.
just you just have to tell us if you are really that desperate for a date??
krush
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Apr 07, 2005
aint a problem actin or bieng desperate see thats a natural human thang u fuckin haters i call my gurl 24/7 i go 5 to 7 rounds before am done she knows am horny bastard & thas why she luv it yo never give up aiiite


i$h
ISH
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Apr 08, 2005
makes me want to have sex with you rigth now...

FeiPo
FeiPo
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... Apr 10, 2005
Hey.... you've got me worked up. Man...your bedroom or mine?? ......BURP!!!
sa4877
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... Apr 10, 2005
Hey.... you've got me worked up. Man...your bedroom or mine?? ......BURP!!!
sa4877
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Apr 10, 2005
Wow!
she's a gal from Hong Kong that's easy!!
BIG FREAKIN SURPRISE!
Glory
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Apr 11, 2005
:wink:
OH ... YEAH....

You got to be easy when you are only 5 ft tall and weigth 175 pounds..... ha... ha
FeiPo
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Apr 12, 2005
snap
:?

ish
ISH
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Apr 27, 2005
nope, Not desperate. Just have a lot of spare time.
KnightedBear
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Apr 27, 2005
Glory wrote:170. You Suck
171. you are a turd burgler
172. you might be gay


i like this post, please continue


173 you old thread digger fag
174 An ass**le ........
200. get a life; if u can't suicide.
sniper420
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Apr 27, 2005
do i dig up old thread? i hadn't noticed.
Glory
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Apr 27, 2005
Glory wrote:do i dig up old thread? i hadn't noticed.


The message is for knighted bear moron!
sniper420
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Jun 11, 2005
sniper420 wrote:
Glory wrote:170. You Suck
171. you are a turd burgler
172. you might be gay


i like this post, please continue


173 you old thread digger fag
174 An a#s**le ........
200. get a life; if u can't suicide.



201 your wasting forum space
202 pls go and die
mAJOR pAIN
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Jun 11, 2005
This is supposed to be called www.DissingForums.com......
no comment !!!!
kilani
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shut up Jun 11, 2005
kilani wrote:This is supposed to be called www.DissingForums.com......
no comment !!!!


shut up you homo lover fcuk !!!!!!

you die with him too !!!!

butt fcukers!!! :twisted:
mAJOR pAIN
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Jun 11, 2005
kilani wrote:This is supposed to be called www.DissingForums.com......
no comment !!!!


Go to your chimp lover called Kilana and have her rape you or something... But whatever you happens, don't suffer the same fate as Glory...
Liban
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Jun 12, 2005
plz keep the general forums clean buddies!
sniper420
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Jun 12, 2005
And you do a damn good job at keeping it clean doncha sniper420? pleaseeeeee.... :evil:
Liban
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Jun 12, 2005
Liban wrote:And you do a damn good job at keeping it clean doncha sniper420? pleaseeeeee.... :evil:


yeah i snipe the maggots who dirt alot. Now I am clean disciple of Bazooka. :D
sniper420
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Jun 12, 2005
You are something alright... just not what you think.... :P
Liban
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