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zam wrote:OMG.... UR SO NARROWMINDED....YOU IMMEDIATELY LINKED CHEATING TO SLEEPING WITH SOMEBODY! GOSH....

Meh... up until that point it's just heavy petting.

zam wrote:OMG.... UR SO NARROWMINDED....YOU IMMEDIATELY LINKED CHEATING TO SLEEPING WITH SOMEBODY! GOSH....

You're so childish if a 3 year relationship ended because of anything less. Unless you're talking about high school and you pashed your bf's mate. Then again... once a cheater, alwayz a cheater!

XRW-147 wrote:

zam wrote:OMG.... UR SO NARROWMINDED....YOU IMMEDIATELY LINKED CHEATING TO SLEEPING WITH SOMEBODY! GOSH....

You're so childish if a 3 year relationship ended because of anything less. Unless you're talking about high school and you pashed your bf's mate. Then again... once a cheater, alwayz a cheater!

I will prove that wrong....

zam wrote:I will prove that wrong....

Fingers crossed

XRW-147 wrote:

zam wrote:I will prove that wrong....

Fingers crossed

LOL

XRW-147 wrote:

FeiPo wrote:Depends on what kind of cheating you are talking about!! If you talk about having s_e_x with other men/women, unless you want to end your relationship with your partner otherwise of course you do not confess.

That's just cowardness FP - honesty should alwayz be first. If your relationship is meant to be and the guy is right for you then things will have a way of working out. If you go on with a lie and end up growing old with the person you cheated on what will you have to reflect on but a life based on lies. Not a life worth living, thats for sure.

defferent between a lie and not to tell. everyone has a secret not to tell. I will look at it as a secret more than a lie. what would you do if your gf told you that she slept with someone??? <--- sad, angry, leave her or kick her out????

zam wrote:

XRW-147 wrote:

zam wrote:Cheated on a 3 yr boyfriend before....it sucks...destroyed the whole damn relationship. What am I thiking anyway? And worst, somebody told somebody and then he learned.

End of story...I wouldnt find my "the one" if I didnt cheated on that guy. If it's destiny..it will happen.

I'm not sure many girls grow up thinking "cheating fairy" would be their destiny.

OMG.... UR SO NARROWMINDED....YOU IMMEDIATELY LINKED CHEATING TO SLEEPING WITH SOMEBODY! GOSH....

Cheating is bad, doesn't matter you are seeing other guys or sleeping with them. It is all in your mind, if you are going out with a male friend (pure friend) but don't want your boyfreind to know coz he might get jealous and thinking you like him, I think this is not cheating. However, if you are going out with a guy you know you have feeling for him, then in my opinion, even tho you don';t sleep with him, you are cheating on your boyfriend. This is the way I see it. I have been going out with male friends many many time in the past without telling my bf, that's because he would not like me going out with male freinds, for the fact I knew it would cause a big fight. So I choose not to tell.

Note: the bf I mentioned above is my ex-bf not the current one!!!

FeiPo wrote:Note: the bf I mentioned above is my ex-bf not the current one!!!

I wonder why

nice one Keith

[quote="FeiPo]

Note: the bf I mentioned above is my ex-bf not the current one!!![/quote]

Good recovery babe

yorky500 wrote:[quote="FeiPo]

Note: the bf I mentioned above is my ex-bf not the current one!!![/quote]

Good recovery babe [/quote]

hehehe So u dont mind if Feipo goes out with hunk ie moi eh?

sniper420 wrote:

yorky500 wrote:[quote="FeiPo]

Note: the bf I mentioned above is my ex-bf not the current one!!![/quote]

Good recovery babe [/quote]

hehehe So u dont mind if Feipo goes out with hunk ie moi eh?[/quote]

Yo Snipes, where ya been.

yes, I do mind!

sometimes, we do some things and after do thee things we just feel it's wrong -focus on "feel"- and when we do so - "feel" they are wrong- we start to regret those things, and keep on regreting till we reach a level where we "think" our regrets are based on true events and true "bad" acts we did in the past...

ok in examples lagnuage now

i saw a hot girl and i was like wow she's hot, if i felt bad about it, and kept feeling bad about it till i reached the point where i regretted that and started regretting it, i'll end up telling my GF that i cheated her because if i had a chance with this hot girl i saw i won't miss it! while this's so untrue!...

what i mean in all this post is, what you consider cheating, might not be cheating at all!, and if it's 100% cheating, like sleepin with someone else, then you should confess but don't go with the details, details are killers, just put the outlines, and insted of wasting your emotions on regret, try to waste them on how to fix things up, and how to say sorry, and how to gain your partner's trust and love again..

FeiPo wrote:defferent between a lie and not to tell. everyone has a secret not to tell. I will look at it as a secret more than a lie. what would you do if your gf told you that she slept with someone??? <--- sad, angry, leave her or kick her out????

Concealing the truth still violates trust - foundation of any relationship. The initial feelings of being told your partner/lover has cheated on you is of course sadness and anger but some people can find comfort in knowing and manage to reconcile.

Personally, I haven't stayed with and never could stand to be with anyone who violates my trust. In my view if a person violates my trust its my right to know so and the person who keeps such 'secrets' from me is being nothing more than deceitful and selfish. One must be willing to bare the consequences of one's actions.

Rami wrote:sometimes, we do some things and after do thee things we just feel it's wrong -focus on "feel"- and when we do so - "feel" they are wrong- we start to regret those things, and keep on regreting till we reach a level where we "think" our regrets are based on true events and true "bad" acts we did in the past...

ok in examples lagnuage now

i saw a hot girl and i was like wow she's hot, if i felt bad about it, and kept feeling bad about it till i reached the point where i regretted that and started regretting it, i'll end up telling my GF that i cheated her because if i had a chance with this hot girl i saw i won't miss it! while this's so untrue!...

what i mean in all this post is, what you consider cheating, might not be cheating at all!, and if it's 100% cheating, like sleepin with someone else, then you should confess but don't go with the details, details are killers, just put the outlines, and insted of wasting your emotions on regret, try to waste them on how to fix things up, and how to say sorry, and how to gain your partner's trust and love again..

i see ur point. but there are situations and situations in actual cheating also. and very important, that there is a big difference between the cheating of men and women. these days there r many women too who sleep around just for the fun. but if in a relationship, when women cheat, it means smthing is very wrong, when men do it, they do it mostly just for the fun.
anyway, what im trying to say is that even thou id never forgive cheating, this all is by far from being black and white.

one question to u. u said the cheater should try to fix things and say "sorry". so to me this means u think even in the case of 100% cheating, things can be fixed. would you say the same if the woman was the cheater?

XRW-147 wrote:

FeiPo wrote:defferent between a lie and not to tell. everyone has a secret not to tell. I will look at it as a secret more than a lie. what would you do if your gf told you that she slept with someone??? <--- sad, angry, leave her or kick her out????

Concealing the truth still violates trust - foundation of any relationship. The initial feelings of being told your partner/lover has cheated on you is of course sadness and anger but some people can find comfort in knowing and manage to reconcile.

Personally, I haven't stayed with and never could stand to be with anyone who violates my trust. In my view if a person violates my trust its my right to know so and the person who keeps such 'secrets' from me is being nothing more than deceitful and selfish. One must be willing to bare the consequences of one's actions.

So, if she tells you you are going to break up with her, if she is not, when you found out you are going to break up with her..... so, why bother to tell you at the first place? might as well keep it secret.

FeiPo wrote:So, if she tells you you are going to break up with her, if she is not, when you found out you are going to break up with her..... so, why bother to tell you at the first place? might as well keep it secret.

Wonderful thing being human. If you can't tell someone about it, there's no point doing it. There's no such thing as a secret.

^ian^ wrote:

FeiPo wrote:So, if she tells you you are going to break up with her, if she is not, when you found out you are going to break up with her..... so, why bother to tell you at the first place? might as well keep it secret.

Wonderful thing being human. If you can't tell someone about it, there's no point doing it. There's no such thing as a secret.

sometime sh*t happened!! that means no one want it to happen. Beside, human being make mistake. Not all mistakes are acceptable, but what to do when you have made a mistake already??? 2 anwsers <--- confess or no to confess. I chose not to confess on this subject.

FeiPo wrote:So, if she tells you you are going to break up with her, if she is not, when you found out you are going to break up with her..... so, why bother to tell you at the first place? might as well keep it secret.

I mentioned that personally I would not tolerate it - some suckers out there do....

Why bother? Ever heard of decency? You are in control on your own life and just because you have decided to make a mistake doesn't mean you have to let someone else live their life with one.

XRW-147 wrote:

FeiPo wrote:So, if she tells you you are going to break up with her, if she is not, when you found out you are going to break up with her..... so, why bother to tell you at the first place? might as well keep it secret.

I mentioned that personally I would not tolerate it - some suckers out there do....

Why bother? Ever heard of decency? You are in control on your own life and just because you have decided to make a mistake doesn't mean you have to let someone else live their life with one.

thats a bit extreme dont u think? People sin and sometimes do crazy things but if they were Sincere enough to admit it and ask for forgivness i think one should...To Sin Is Human To Forgive Is Divine ...i think u should have more tolerance

I could never keep it a secret - it would eat away at my conscience. Knowing me, I'd tell if I ever cheated. However, also knowing me - I would never cheat in the first place.

To Sin Is Human, completely agree with Corcovado.
After all, what is sin and what do you mean by cheating?

Corcovado wrote:...To Sin Is Human To Forgive Is Divine ...i think u should have more tolerance

We are never closer to God's grace than when we admit our sins and cry out for pardon...

For one to forgive one must first hear the cries for pardon.

XRW-147 wrote:

Corcovado wrote:...To Sin Is Human To Forgive Is Divine ...i think u should have more tolerance

We are never closer to God's grace than when we admit our sins and cry out for pardon...

For one to forgive one must first hear the cries for pardon.

ur not easy to please or forgive r u?

Corcovado wrote:ur not easy to please or forgive r u?

You don't get what it means? - You can't forgive what you do not know.

the most important thing in love is to be faithfull...if your BF/GF is unfaithfull he/she doesn't deserve your love, if you are attract by someone else that means there is a real problem you should tell the truth

shanya wrote:the most important thing in love is to be faithfull...if your BF/GF is unfaithfull he/she doesn't deserve your love, if you are attract by someone else that means there is a real problem you should tell the truth

I second that!

even with cries of pardon I won't forgive...[/quote]

XRW-147 wrote:

Corcovado wrote:ur not easy to please or forgive r u?

You don't get what it means? - You can't forgive what you do not know.

OK XRW, if you cheat you tell ?

shanya wrote:

XRW-147 wrote:

Corcovado wrote:ur not easy to please or forgive r u?

You don't get what it means? - You can't forgive what you do not know.

OK XRW, if you cheat you tell ?

hmmmm