Westerner in Dubai

desertdudeshj

Well nobody is trying to offend you, your doing that perfectly all by yourself. Everybody knows Islams stance on s3x outside of marrige you don't have to preach it, but when you insisted ( at first ) that no unmarried local male or female has to use the old world fornicated. That was hard to swallow.

Then you gave in a little that only a few delved in the pleasuresof the flesh, now what we are saying and from good experience is that its the opposite that most have and few haven't, specialy when it comes to the men. Now your just having a real hard time believing that.

Maybe you could PM your friend sym and ask him if this is true or not. If you won't take out word for it. Maybe a of a countryman perhaps.

Sarah21

Well nobody is trying to offend you, your doing that perfectly all by yourself. Everybody knows Islams stance on s3x outside of marrige you don't have to preach it, but when you insisted ( at first ) that no unmarried local male or female has to use the old world fornicated. That was hard to swallow.

Then you gave in a little that only a few delved in the pleasuresof the flesh, now what we are saying and from good experience is that its the opposite that most have and few haven't, specialy when it comes to the men. Now your just having a real hard time believing that.

Maybe you could PM your friend sym and ask him if this is true or not. If you won't take out word for it. Maybe a of a countryman perhaps.

just the other day my cousin was just telling me about some of his friends and thier girfriends and them doing all kinda sh!t togatehr! and in college i know girls who have boyfriends as well! i know that there are many out there who dont go with the religion teachings !

Bethsmum

Well Sarah, I'm sorry but i was offended by you saying your Bengali driver was like one of the family. Zubber has been a gentleman and not responded to that comment, which was arrogant in the extreme. And BTW I am not your honey.

Chocoholic

LOL Only just seen this post and will jump in. Sadly Sarah, I'm going to agree with the others and say you're living in a bit of a fantasy land with rose tinted glasses. The reason you never see local girls dating etc Pakistani, Indian etc guys is because Emiratis use them as slave labour - sorry to be blunt but it's true. They're your drivers, your house boys, your builders etc - locals don't see them as equals and most reat them like something they scraped off the bottom of their shoe.

You will find it very difficult to get involved with Western guys A, because your family probably wouldn't approve, B should you ever choose to marry one, you must give up your Emirati status and passport.

The reason why Western guys are afreid of you is because the majority of Local girls would cry harassment if one even threw a look in their direction.

You are covered for a reason and that is NOT to attract attention - hence the reason why you won't get any.

You need to wake up lil missy.

Dubai_Knight

Sarah, I feel a little sorry for you firstly because you posted here quite a valid and interesting point of view and then were set upon by some of the pack quite unfairly. Ignore them.

Secondly, I do feel that you are a little naive in your thinking, particularly since you are lucky enough to spend time away from the UAE and experience some different cultures. You see the stuff going around you and yet you don't really 'see' how it all works. Its to do with personal choice and religion or upbringing should not enter into it. A truly free society operates like that.

A truly free and equal society does not have houseboys or drivers dismissed in such a manner. Where is their freedom? The ability to go where you like or buy whatever you please, does still not make you 'free', that is a matter for the mind and not the purse. If the houseboy or driver had the same financial advantages as you, do you really think they would be the houseboy or driver?

Similarly, the desire to have a western boy as a friend (tall, blonde, blue-eyed by your own admission) is a purely physical attraction, something that is frowned upon by your social upbringing. Once you have this boy as a friend, then what? Human nature, chemicals and the inbred need to propagate the species will eventually lead to frustration and denial. You may have the trophy, but will also probably have to come back down to earth with a bump when it comes to marriage and the rest of your life. It is unlikely this idyllic male will be able to tick all the boxes (rich, intelligent...and Muslim) The choice will ultimately not be yours to make and therefore you will have sacrificed your own happiness for what? To keep your family happy. Where is your freedom of choice to be happy? I feel sorry for you as your 'conditioning' will ultimately decide your future. Not you.

The experiences we gain in life's journey make us the people we are and that diversity is what makes the human race such a screwed up, imperfect species. And yet, such an interesting and creative one.

My advice would be to enjoy the freedoms you have right now as it is transient and, once gone, can never be found again. Let the veil slip a little and you might find something truly valid in your life.

😎 😎 😎

Knight

zubber

You surely fail to understand the concept of respecting the natives of a host country, regardless anything.

Respect is a two way street, it is earned and not taken.

+1,000 !!!

kanelli

All I have to say is good luck finding a blonde-haired blue-eyed Westerner who is Muslim and a virgin who will approach you in a mall, date you and marry you.

Chocoholic

All I have to say is good luck finding a blonde-haired blue-eyed Westerner who is Muslim and a virgin who will approach you in a mall, date you and marry you.

I think you'd have a better chance of finding a pot of gold at the bottom of the rainbow.

desertdudeshj

Well atleast leprechauns are white, blonde ( ok ginger ) and blue eyed ! and have their own pot of gold. granted not black gold, but gold none the less 😀

Sarah, I think next summer vacation head for Ireland 😎

zubber

^^ LMFAO !!!

Bethsmum

Well atleast leprechauns are white, blonde ( ok ginger ) and blue eyed ! and have their own pot of gold. granted not black gold, but gold none the less 😀

Sarah, I think next summer vacation head for Ireland 😎

I know one of these right here in Dubai, he's a cracker, should I see if he's available?

Chocoholic

Symmetric, I think you miss the point of this thread completely and the replies to Sarah. It's got nothing to do with the government, work or whatever, the discussion was about dating a Westerner.

Leave off the heavy bro - it wasn't needed in here.

Chocoholic

Trust me, I know exactly what I'm saying and to whom I'm talking to. I didnt drift away much from the subject, it's related to an extent.

I'm not defending Sarah's views, I just see a bunch of immature people bashing a young girl who's far away from the reality of us adults. People are too blind to understand that there is a gap between them and her. Such a waste of money that has been spent to educate such people.

Again, thank you DK for being understanding, highly appreciated.

It's not that people don't understand that there's a gap. But for someone who 'claims' to have travelled and spent time in Western society, Sarah seems extremely naive and sheltered. Sadly she needs a bit of a wake up call to the actual reality she is living in and can expect in the rest of her life, unless she moves away from certain restraints.

melika969

I'm not defending Sarah's views, I just see a bunch of immature people bashing a young girl who's far away from the reality of us adults. People are too blind to understand that there is a gap between them and her. Such a waste of money that has been spent to educate such people.

That s a very good point Sym, I totally agree with you. It s not the first time things like this happens in this forum. Some of the posters just want to impose their values and their lifestyle to ME. It s not gonna happen people! leave it alone! (that s why I didnt post in this thread before, based on past experience on the forums, it doesnt worth the headache!!!)

She is naive, but she is reaching us in a nice and polite way, and look how we turned this to a fight!

Again, thank you DK for being understanding, highly appreciated.

:cheers: :cheers:

zubber

[ It's not that people don't understand that there's a gap. But for someone who 'claims' to have travelled and spent time in Western society, Sarah seems extremely naive and sheltered. Sadly she needs a bit of a wake up call to the actual reality she is living in and can expect in the rest of her life, unless she moves away from certain restraints.

VALID ARGUMENT

Chocoholic

Mel, sadly you too miss the point. Sarah says she wants to date a blue-eyed, blonde, white hottie - er how is that US enforcing OUR values on her? She's the one wanting to go against all her values, not the other way around luv.

We're simply saying that what she wants and the reality are two completely different things, that sadly aren't often negotiable in this part of the world, too many factors involved.

But hey I guess it's far easier for you to sit there and say 'Bad westerners, how dare you corrupt our girls' - blah blah blah.

Well I could sit here and say 'Keep your mits off our men!'

Sarah21

Sarah, I feel a little sorry for you firstly because you posted here quite a valid and interesting point of view and then were set upon by some of the pack quite unfairly. Ignore them.

Similarly, the desire to have a western boy as a friend (tall, blonde, blue-eyed by your own admission) is a purely physical attraction, something that is frowned upon by your social upbringing. Once you have this boy as a friend, then what? Human nature, chemicals and the inbred need to propagate the species will eventually lead to frustration and denial. You may have the trophy, but will also probably have to come back down to earth with a bump when it comes to marriage and the rest of your life. It is unlikely this idyllic male will be able to tick all the boxes (rich, intelligent...and Muslim) The choice will ultimately not be yours to make and therefore you will have sacrificed your own happiness for what? To keep your family happy. Where is your freedom of choice to be happy? I feel sorry for you as your 'conditioning' will ultimately decide your future. Not you.

The experiences we gain in life's journey make us the people we are and that diversity is what makes the human race such a screwed up, imperfect species. And yet, such an interesting and creative one.

My advice would be to enjoy the freedoms you have right now as it is transient and, once gone, can never be found again. Let the veil slip a little and you might find something truly valid in your life.

😎 😎 😎

Knight

Thank you for your replay sir
But I d like for you to know that my family give me the choice for choosing who ever I want to marry and they are wll aware that I'm not into local boys and i want to have a relationship with westerner and they are ok with that.
Even last summer in the US I spent time hanging with my American friend Mike and all was good no one said anything about staying away from him or anything!?
And I'm sure I'm not gonna find a virgin boyfriend but it doesn't matter about before and his old relationships once we start our relationship, what really matter for me is his education, wisdom, compassion, honesty, his goals in life.. What's inside is what really matter for me in the end . I know I mentioned th looks that I'm attracted to but I know that looks fade and only inside beauty remains. I just mentioned them in the start of my post because I only wanted to give an example! my post was to give a pice of information to some people who are afried of apporching locals that they shouldnt be afraid of being put in jail thats all I wasn't talking really sirosly and if I thought people would take every single word I put in that post and crisis it i would've wrote more sirosly and deeply about what I really would want in a guy but I know this isn't a dating forum that's why I didn't go and wrote everything ..
Also I know a local girl who marred a westerner she wasn't his first but she was his last and they are living really good however he did convert to Islam to marry her tho..

Can you give me your opinion in what I just wrote please?
Regards

melika969

Mel, sadly you too miss the point. Sarah says she wants to date a blue-eyed, blonde, white hottie - er how is that US enforcing OUR values on her? She's the one wanting to go against all her values, not the other way around luv.

You are making fun of her because of importance of virginity before marriage in her culture, the way they date, the way they get married, etc etc.( not like I approve those ways, but I can accept them in the way they are).

I admire her because she wants to change and look for new things. I agree the way she put it about Indians, Pakistanis, and Bangladeshis was naive and arrogant. Still she needs more guidance, not from some self obsessed people!

Chocoholic

Sarah, If I may, it's all very well to have a list and want you want in your ideal guy - but in reality the more you make lists of specific traits the more you limit yourself and could quite possibly overlook someone because they don't tick all your boxes. It's because you're young, inexperienced and you have a long way to go to learn some of life's best lessons.

Throw the check list out the window and open yourself up to all possibilities. It's good to hear that your parents are open minded when it comes to such things, I only hope that it is genuine and they don't change their opinion if something ever becomes serious.<br /><br />-- Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:56 pm --<br /><br />

Mel, sadly you too miss the point. Sarah says she wants to date a blue-eyed, blonde, white hottie - er how is that US enforcing OUR values on her? She's the one wanting to go against all her values, not the other way around luv.

You are making fun of her because of importance of virginity before marriage in her culture, the way they date, the way they get married, etc etc.( not like I approve those ways, but I can accept them in the way they are).

I admire her because she wants to change and look for new things. I agree the way she put it about Indians, Pakistanis, and Bangladeshis was naive and arrogant. Still she needs more guidance, not from some self obsessed people!

No Mel, no one was making fun, people were simply being realistic! I admire anyone who has the will power for that, even though I strongly disagree with it.

desertdudeshj

Also I know a local girl who marred a westerner

good to hear you know some who are married to westerners 😀 yay.

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